Bikini Bylaws

According to my intense research (otherwise known as random browsing) today is the anniversary of the introduction of the bikini. As a person who for about 8 minutes in the 1960s had the body to wear one, this day is a waste of time. So, for those out there who are contemplating the wearing of said article of clothing, here are my guidelines:

I Would Really Not Rather See You In A Bikini If:

1. It disappears into your rolls (and I don't mean the dinner kind).

2. Your six-year-old can wear the one you just bought in your size at the ladies department.

3. It has a double use as dental floss.

4. You're ten months pregnant - yes, I'm old and don't want to see all that.

5. You would have more coverage with two band aids and an address label.

6. You were recently enhanced several cups and want to impress by wearing your former training bra-size top.

7. You're the right size, but you are just too old, leathery, and wrinkly to pull it off.

8. You painted one on. Yes, I've watched the Girls Next Door.

9. Speedos and delusional old men - don't want to see it unless I'm watching you in the Olympics.

10. You keep shrieking "It just keeps falling off!" Right, and the wind just keeps flinging my towel over your body.

Thank you for listening. In the bikini world, we all have to do our part, otherwise EVERYBODY might think the bikini is for them - and that would include me. Yeah, I thought that would get your attention!

The Fourth, a Five-K, and Family

Although it was cloudy and there were sprinkles of rain, today's 5K went off without a hitch - and technically without me, although I was there to support, cheer, and photograph. It was the first time ever for me to watch my family finish a race without my being in it. But I still enjoyed it. I loved watching the end of the street, waiting for my family to turn the corner. I loved attempting to take pictures (I wish I had a viewfinder). I loved watching the other runners come in. I loved hearing their stories about their experiences on the course. I loved the post-race family brunch. But most of all, I loved being a part of it. Or maybe it's just that I love being a part of them.

Woo Hoo - On The Way!

As of this morning at Weight Watchers, I have lost a total of 9 pounds - my first blog goal. It's just a drop in the bucket of my total goal, but it feels good.

It's taken me several weeks to get here, and it hasn't been easy. Over the past year, I have developed some really poor eating habits. Ones like, "It's 3 in the afternoon. Let's go for a snack at the 24-hour all-you-can-eat buffet!" and "That sandwich was sure yummy - let's have another!" and "I have no idea what my hand is putting in my mouth, but I sure hope it makes me happy/satisfied/less bored/motivated." It's been hard to stop repeating those behaviors. I've really had to work at doing the program. But it's finally starting to kick in and become more of a routine and a part of my life.

Nine pounds is just a drop in the bucket. But it is a drop, and it is in the bucket!!

Woo Hoo!

Do The Right Thing

My ankle is much better today - at least it feels better. It looks worse, more like a mottled artists's palette with varying shades of purple and brown. It's still pretty swollen, especially after I move about a lot (it's hard to stay put when it doesn't hurt).

I have a 5K scheduled for Friday. It's a Fourth of July run in downtown Nashville. I've done a few 5Ks downtown, and I love it. Everybody in the family has planned to do it. We've only all done one race before, and this was to be our second. I really, really, really want to do this race.

But I know it would be ill-advised. Even walking the 5K would probably be foolish. The bottom line is, do I want to heal so I can work on the NYC Half at the end of the month, or take a chance at further injury? Do I want to hope that it will be okay, or roll the dice?

I've decided to scratch this one. Even if all the swelling went down, and I found myself with a healthy pink foot, the injury would still be down there somewhere. It needs a little more time and careful rehab. I'm not happy about it, but in this case I have to play it smart. I guess sometimes you just have to sit one out.

Besides, maybe it will rain on Friday!

There's A Reason I Didn't Go Into Medicine!

This is what you should NOT do when your foot is sprained. Because I used to twist my ankles on a regular basis, I have elastic ankle support thingys. I thought I would wear one today to support my sick ankle - bad choice. As you can see, it was a little too tight, and pushed all the blood to one part of my foot - can you tell where the support cut off?

On my trip to Wal-Mart, I invested in the old-fashioned ace bandage. I have been using that, except I probably went the other way and it's too loose - is it supposed to flap when you limp?

Anyhow, my ankle is feeling some better, as long as I don't ask too much of it. I think having to sit around is God's way of letting me exercise my willpower over not playing solitaire. I am persevering, although I did consider finding some new ones (I didn't)!

I have to go now - I'm going to soak my foot in salt - was that Epsom, bath, sea, or table?