Have a Giggle Today

I am sleepy and stuffed from dinner, so I'll leave you with a joke, compliments of Funny Jokes:

Top ten tips to know if you have PMS

10. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

9. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet

8. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

7. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

6. You're using your cell phone to dial up bumper stickers that says, "How's my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-****."

5. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

4. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.

3. You're counting down the days until menopause.

2. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

1. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

Just Find A Reason

After walking five miles on Thursday and eleven on Friday, I wasn't too excited about today's race. I had checked last year's results, and figured I'd be at the tail end of the race. I began to consider just skipping it.

But then Steve picked up our packets and race shirts last night. I really liked the shirt because of its Hatch Show print. Since I don't keep any race shirts unless I complete the race, I knew I was going to have to do this one, last place or not.

I'm so glad I did. First of all, I wasn't last because there were many walkers behind me. I managed a 13-minute pace, which is pretty good for me. I saw a few old friends and met a few new ones. The course was beautiful, running on some of Nashville's greenways along a local golf course (much to the consternation of a few golfers). I even managed to get a picture of Steve as he passed me on his way back to the finish. It was a beautiful day for a wog, which I would have missed had I chickened out.

I needed a reason to do the race and I found one. I'm glad I did, because I ended up with so many more reasons I'm glad I did it!

Marathoning's Top Ten

Today as I walked 11 of Lynnette's 21 miles, we discussed the absurdity of training for a marathon (at least at my pace). We talked about the time involved and the resulting effect on the body (at least at my age and size). While we didn't come up with any stellar reasons for doing a marathon, I think maybe these are the top ten reasons I did them (which didn't really work anyhow):

1. PMS, menopause, too much liquor - whatever it was that warped my brain at the time I signed up for one.

2. Blingy medals - as if I was ever going to wear them anywhere except home from the finish line. I have yet to see one around some one's neck at church or a social function.

3. The belief that entering would help me lose weight - yeah, and so will the Belly Buster and Magic Fat-Eating pills that I see advertised on TV.

4. Envisioning me actually wear running shorts in a race - not on my tree trunk legs. That "riding up" sensation simply does not work for me.

5. Coupling a marathon with having fun in the host city - sure, if you don't figure in laying down to rest up 24 hours before the race and laying down to recover 24 hours after the race.

6. Running with a pace group - I have yet to find one I can keep up with - even the "balloon man" who is supposed to be the last runner, passed me up in the last marathon I finished.

7. Getting an "I Finished" shirt - like anybody cares except me. I don't think it would be effective wearing to a job interview.

8. Having a reason to visit a new city - yes, because that's the only reason to visit a city - never mind the monuments in Washington, D.C. or the landmarks in NYC, or the beach in Miami - let's just go for the marathon!

9. Wanting my picture running and wearing my race bib in the next year's marathon program - sorry, but the photographers are usually through taking pictures by the time I come through - in fact, they are back at the lab, processing the fast people's pictures.

10. Being known as a "marathoner" - okay, now we're talking!!

April Showers

It's April. My, how quickly 2009 seems to be passing, especially when I think about where I wanted to be at this point in the year. I planned to be lighter, more fit, and a healthier eater. However, I'm not even close.

I guess it's sort of like the thunderstorm that passed through this afternoon. Everything got dark and gloomy and then the rain started. Lightening hit something close, as evidenced by the resounding "boom" and Shaggy the Cat's streak for under the bed. But the lights stayed on and no trees crashed to the ground, so all was well at my house. A few miles away, a tornado touched down, causing a little bit of damage. But these rainstorms are important, because we all know that April showers bring May flowers (which I've got to plant after April 15).

I haven't made the progress I wanted to - yet. I've had a few storms that have kept me from getting there - mostly self-created. But I've got to keep working at it, because eventually my flowers will come up and everything I've worked for will be beautiful.

April's 100 Things

It's my fourth month on my 100 Things quest. So far I'm down 100 books, 100 DVDs, and 100 kitchen doo-dads. This month it is 100 Cd's.

It really wasn't too hard. I had finally loaded all my Cd's onto my computer/music/ipod (and saved the music to every external drive I had), so I decided to get rid of the Cd's. Steve pitched in and we ended up with 150 Cd's altogether. The even better news is that Steve passed them along to a co-worker, who will in turn make a donation to my Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk.

It's actually getting easier to discard 100 things. It makes me realize how much I can do without. This month, the best part is that stuff I didn't want will turn into funds that can help someone else. Now that's what I call recycling!