However, as is my nature, I want it all done immediately, or by tomorrow at the latest. As is the nature of this world, that just ain't a-gonna happen. But still, I tend to keep thinking two steps ahead, which often frustrates me and thwarts my efforts, thus sending me into a pity party. Today, maybe I began that slow process of changing my ways, hoping to make progress toward achieving those hopes and dreams that I want.
I am in Orlando on a sort-of vacation. Last night I slept like I hadn't in awhile. In other words there were no cats jumping around on the bed or trying to get into drawers or scratching at the window/mirror/picture glass. There was no to-do list churning about in my head fighting with my plans of sleeping. It was quiet and dark and I went to sleep. When Steve got up before 5 this morning for a business quick trip to Jacksonville and I woke up enough to tell him the light wouldn't bother me, I apparently was telling the truth, since that's the last thing I remember before waking up around 8.
So here's where the changes might have begun. I had the whole day to figure out what to do, and in my brain there were lots of possibilities - eat breakfast, walk, take a shower, shave my legs. eat lunch, go to a park, go to Downtown Disney - just to name a few. Just thinking about all of that could have scrambled my pea brain and caused me to get back in bed and turn on the TV.
Instead, I thought of just the next thing to do - get dressed and eat breakfast. I ordered a breakfast pizza, and although it might not have been the healthiest of breakfasts, I did choose not to eat it all (progress in terms of not ordering the Big Ole Breakfast with lots of jellies and syrups and such and sucking it all down).
Next, instead of trying to design my whole day, I just chose what to do next - which would be a walk around this resort (we're relocating on Thursday). I decided to walk three miles, and thanks to my handy dandy Garmin (thanks to Kat and Sarah's advice), I found that by walking around the resort three times including various little ins and outs, I actually got in four miles - slow, but four! So far, two things done with no thinking about what to do next, except I did remember to offer thanks and prayers for a few people during those laps.
Once finished, I had to decide what to do next. I knew Housekeeping was close to my room, so I decided to chill (literally, since it is a bit cool outside) on a lounger by the pool. Normally this would be my antsy-pantsy time because of everything that I would need to be doing, but I just told myself to sit in the sun for 15 minutes, and I did. Again, not thinking too much about what I need to do and how and when I'm going to do it. After 15 minutes, I walked into my clean room and thought about the next thing.
So I took a shower, shaved my legs, and washed my hair. I caught up on email/facebook/Internet and did some crunches/push ups/plank (after two months of no butt camp, I can see the road back is going to be vicious). Once that was done, I decided to blog, since I seem to be a little more on the ball during the day than later at night (shocker for you, I know!).
Now I will decide what to do next. I'm think a bite of lunch. Nothing past that for now. Just lunch.
So far, today has just been a bunch of little steps, one at a time, without worrying about the steps further down the road. I know I have a lot of stuff to do, but I'm practicing not thinking about those now. Now it's just thinking about the next thing I have to do. Because eventually, taking one step at a time, no matter how small, will get me where I want to go.
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Today's blessings: Breakfast pizza; four miles around Pop Century; seeing families with suitcases checking out; lovely soak in the tub; beautiful cool day in Orlando
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