Natural, Schmateral ...

After recovering (finally) from my last episode of respiratory crap (thanks to sickly people on my girls cruise - no names mentioned), I seem to have caught another episode (thanks to the lovely Nashville blooming and budding spring weather). So for the past few days, I've been attempting to hack up a lung, or at least the slow drainage that seemed to be dripping down the back of my throat. And as much fun as that is to experience, I am getting rather sick of it.

So, I decided to consult Dr. Google and check out the various claims that eating honey, or drinking a mixture of honey and lemon and warm water would miraculously cure my hacking. I read a bit of this and that, and last night decided to go the honey/lemon/warm water route. While it was not that tasty, I drank it, expecting a restful (meaning non-hacking) night.

To some extent, I was okay, although I'm not sure if that was due to the honey-lemon water or the Mucinex I downed. However this morning, as I was back to my usual coughing, I decided to take the next step - ingesting straight honey. Dr. Google said that kids should take two teaspoons of honey, so I decided that for a woman my size, I should take a great big ole' tablespoon (or whatever the actual size is of the spoon in my utensils drawer).

Pretty much as soon as the honey went down my throat, I knew it was a bad idea. Let's not even discuss having that much sugar in my system or the gooey-ness of it going down my throat. Let's just say it was yucky. And my cough, along with the rest of my body, rejected the entire thing - forcefully, pretty much the same way it went in. And have I ever mentioned that when I toss cookies (or in this case, toss honey), that it is basically the velocity and force of a very angry volcano? Anyhow, today as I was ridding myself of the medicinal honey, I also wrenched my back (which should give you some idea of my force).

Once the honey incident was history and I had dropped Everley off at school, I decided to seek the advice of a professional, so I headed for the Care Spot (thank goodness for walk-in clinics). I walked in the door, told Rachel Receptionist why I was there, and handed her my necessary documentation. She told me to sit down and she would bring me my cards in just a minute.

Sure enough, in a minute she brought me an iPad-ish tablet. This was for me to check in (I have done this before, which makes the next part even more pathetic). Anyhow, the first screen is for you to verify your personal information. The next screen was taking its time showing up, so I just checked "yes" and waited for the next screen to pop up. Which it did, and told me to go to the reception desk because I had checked that I was experience Ebola-like symptoms (note to self - practice patience!). I did, and she reset the thingy. I took it and sat back down. And promptly hit another wrong button and the whole thing went blank. So I went back to the receptionist and she reset it again, and probably made a note in my personal information that I was a dumbo.  Anyhow, this time I managed to wait and hit all the right buttons. I is a gene-yus.

Eventually I made it back to the exam room, where I learned that all my vitals are fine and I had no infections and that Mucinex is useless. I did mention my honey incident, but nobody seemed to care (although that's probably been entered into my permanent record, too). I did get out with a antihistamine and decongestant and nose spray and Vitamin C and creme for my dermatology-compromised ears (they be dry and scaly). So I guess I will be okay.

But I will never eat honey again!!

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Today is a gift because: Everley time; Ms. Shirley hugging E so I could leave; fun at the Care Spot Clinic