Them's Fancy Eatin'

I admit it. I am not a connie-sewer of fine kwizene. In fact, once when my sister Marilyn, my friend Emily, and I were eating at a local restaurant, Emily and I were quite content to eat the burned (as in black) biscuits we were served. Marilyn, who is apparently a step up on the fine dining ladder, asked that we get new biscuits, which we did.

So, you might find it odd that I would pay the extra (and I do mean extra) that it takes to eat at Remy, the Disney Dream's new eating option. What can say? I booked it for the same reason Marilyn and I ate at Victoria and Albert's a few years ago - because it's there.

Anyhoo, we booked a table for 8:10 on our last night of the cruise. We knew we would have to wear our fancy duds. Luckily we had already made a trip to Wal-Mart, so we were ready with our black dresses (I would say little black dresses, but there was nothing little about mine).

We arrive at Remy at our appointed time. We knew where to go, after searching the ship for Palo the night before (yes, that's right. Palo one night and Remy the next. Get over your jealous self). Technically, Palo and Remy share a check-in desk, although due to the fanciness of those two fancy eatin' joints, I think it's probably more acceptable to say it's a cheque-inn deske.

We are escorted to the bar/waiting area. Soon Sir Managere comes and greets us and escorts us to our table. I probably should have remembered his name, especially since he was super attentive throughout the entire meal, but I had more important things to think about. Mainly, was my butt as enormous as I thought in my $15 Wal Mart big black dress.

We had a fabulous table - right by the windows looking out. I would have taken pictures - if I bothered to take my camera. There wasn't much time for picture taking, since it was time for the eatin' to commence.

First, some guy came by with a cart that had two champagne glasses, a bottle of champagne, and some other stuff. Let me stop here to say that I do not remember all the courses - there were a lot of them. Nor do I remember the names of the various dudes that served our table. The only ones I remember are Sir Managere and David, our main server. Anyhow, Champagne Man mixed up some vodka (I think), champagne, and raspberries, and we were off to the races.

Next Crunchy Square Man came by with a plate and two little cubes on the table. He probably told us what they were, but we really didn't care. Maybe next time I'll take a tablet and some pencils and write it all down. He told us to let the cubes cool down, then put the entire cube in our mouth - don't bite it in half, because then we would get the same effect as biting on a little tomato, which I took to mean that there would be squirting, which apparently one does not do in a nice restaurant.

Next David showed up with the menus. David is from Paris and was extremely nice and friendly. He was like our guide - helping two hillbillies not make a complete mess of everything. Basically, the menu is like a book. The front page has two menus that have already been decided. If you don't like that, then you can pick from the ala carte menu. Since most of the words in the menu were French, and the ones in English I didn't understand anyway, we chose the pre-selected menu. There were two pre-selected menus. Marilyn picked one because two words she knew in that menu were sea bass. I picked the other because I thought one of the words was beef.

The next two hours were a blur of David and Sir Managere bringing us a course covered by a silver cover, uncovering it, then David would tell us a story about what we were about to chow down on. I rarely understood a thing he said - not because I couldn't understand his French accent, but because if it doesn't come with a number (like "I'll choose a #3 with fries and a diet coke), then I don't understand. The thing that I did understand was that each and every dish was absolutely delicious. Luckily David was there to take away my plate before I picked it up and started licking it clean.

After the main courses came the cheese course. This course consisted of a wagon full of cheeses being brought to our table, with the story of each cheese told to us. Then we were asked which cheeses we wanted to sample. Since none of them came with the label "Kraft" or "Laughing Cow", we decided to just get a plate of all of them. I would like to say here that the French love their cheese - all six jillion kinds of them. Like good guests, we did our best of clean that plate.

Now it was time for dessert. Dessert is two silver boxes with about 12 different kinds of little chocolate candies, lollipops, meringues, muffins, tarts, and who knows what else. And yes, we ate them all.

Soon it was time to say goodbye and call for the forklift to raise us off our chairs and tote us to our room. We gathered our long-stemmed roses, said our farewells to David and Sir, and somehow made our way to our cabin, where we found on our bed, a small box from Remy containing four handmade truffles.

Now that's some fancy eatin'!!

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Today's blessings: Back to butt camp and seeing all my booties; chicken sapa dinner with all the family