Chill Out, Runner Dudes (And Dudettes)

I've started following a blog about reluctant runners. I figured it would be right down my alley, since I do love running - I could sit and watch it for hours. I read their posts and information and other stuff, and have enjoyed the blog (or website, or whatever it is). However, the other day the post was about "Don't Be That Runner" and I have to admit I got a little riled up. Mainly because I felt like perhaps the writers had written it after seeing me in a race. Except for the fact that we were not in a race together. And then some of the comments seemed a little snippy - at least to me and my homies.

Anyhow, the purpose of the post was to point out some of the runner types that you don't want to be. I agreed with some of them. However, since I AM some of them, I thought I would just create my own post to educate those fancy runners who could never understand my "running a race" methods. So here goes to all you runnin' fools - from those whom you can't believe actually have a race bib on.

1. We paid the entry fee, the race accepted our entry, 'nuf said. They deemed our money good enough to buy a bib, so get over it. Yes, we will wear our race shirt on race day. During the race. Yes, we will have fuel belts, visors, walkers, and possibly an oxygen tank and defibrillator. But by George (and he's probably in our group), we're going to enter and finish this race, so you get out of OUR way. Which won't be that hard, since you are running so fast, we aren't even in the same time zone.

2. Why don't YOU work an expo and give out the high-number bibs. You know, the 25000 numbers - numbers you didn't even realize existed. Talk to the people who will wear those bibs. Look at their faces - a mixture of fear and elation. Listen as they tell you they don't know if they can finish, but they're going to try. Encourage them. Give them some pointers. Wish them luck. Then see if you look at these runners any differently.

3. Why don't YOU work a race and give out water. Maybe you can forgo running a race to really seeing what a race is all about. The elite runners (yeah, there are those who run faster than you) won't even look at you as you're holding a cup of water. But the back of the pack-ers will be grateful for anything you want to hand out - water, an encouraging word, a peppermint, a cold wet sponge. Just don't say, "You're almost there." Unless we are looking at the finish line, we're not almost there. Seriously.

4. Why don't YOU work a race and give out medals. You know, those things you have sooooo many of. Wait around for that very last pack of runners and put the medal around their necks. Watch their tears flow and then give them a big sweaty hug. You have no idea how much it has taken for them to get there - but you can certainly show them some recognition of their herculean efforts. So what if they wear it all day, all the next day, and to church on Sunday? It's been a significant moment in their lives, and they want to relish it as long as they can. For a little while, they were a real runner - just like you.

5. If you're so good, be a coach. Team in Training certainly could use you. Better yet, form your own training team. Get a beginner running group at work, school, church, or the neighborhood. You obviously are the expert, so help reform us wannabes. Then, when race day comes, run with us. In fact, before you start your coaching career, run a race with us. Yes, it will be slower than you ever imagined. Yes, you will be crying with us - us, because we are trying to get to the next mile marker and you, because you cannot believe that anybody can go this slow. But you can believe this - back in our section, we have a good time. We talk to each other, look after each other, and help each other get to that next mile. Camaraderie - heard of it?

So the next time we're in a race together - and unless you've put down the wrong race time (there's a booth to change that at the expo) we won't be in the same corral -just run on past us. Laugh at our outfits (we don't care), marvel at how much equipment we are carrying (we don't know any better), and run around us (even if that requires running across the ditch). Unless I have a harness around your waist in an attempt to get a PR, I won't be impeding your finish time.

By the way, be sure to give me a shout out as you whiz by. I won't be the sports bra only girl - I'll be the one pulling her Gu out of her sports bra.

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Today's blessings: Sweaty butt camp day; giving blood at Red Cross and the medical personnel and fellow donors; nice drive to see GDiz; Little Dooey's with Steve, GDiz, and Ann