Our New Home Addition

Last year, I had every intent of getting a rain barrel. I didn't want to work hard at it - I just wanted to get the darn thing and have it set up and ready. I had heard all about getting them free, or for a reduced price, etc., which kept me from action - too many decisions and choices.

A few weeks ago, I decided with spring here, it was time to act. So I ordered my barrel (no price shopping - just one of the first ones that came up on Google). It was delivered a few days ago, and here is my simple step-by-step process of becoming a little greener.


Step 1: Notice that there was a HUGE box on my front porch. I didn't, but Steve did and mentioned it. The mentioning pretty much summed up his participation in this project.

Step 2: Bring in HUGE box from front porch, and place in den, next to pool table, away from gas heater - rain barrel will be no help in putting out fire unless there is actual rain in barrel, which cannot be accomplish if rain barrel melts.

Step 3: Take HUGE rain barrel from HUGE box - wonder if this was right size, since I didn't remember Sam's being this big. Let barrel sit for awhile, away from gas heater (note: barrel is plastic - I think it was used to transport pickles or something.)

Step 4: Email Sam telling him of rain barrel delivery, and asking him to come over and help set it up. Try to get top off barrel, to no success. Wonder if top is supposed to come off. Wonder if there are directions anywhere. Look in box, but only packing slip is in there. Wonder how I am supposed to get water out when barrel has water. Look at various holes in side of barrel, wonder what they are for.

Step 5: Check email - no reply. Go get a snack.

Step 6: Check email again - no reply from Sam, so I decided to forge ahead. Keep trying to get top off barrel. Remember all the times I tried to get tops off things, and succeeded, only to discover that top was not supposed to come off. Miraculously, top begins to screw off, as it was designed to do.

Step 7: Peer inside barrel to discover plastic bag containing spigot and plastic cap and (hallelujah!) instructions.

Step 8: Scan instructions (since I rarely read them). See a diagram on how to install spigots. As it turns out, you have a choice of two openings to put spigot, depending on whether to put the barrel on ground level or elevate it. I hate decisions. After carefully pondering, I put cap in bottom hole, and spigot in hole slightly higher up.

Step 9: Take barrel outside to designated rain barrel position (where downspout is that floods the concrete slab). Begin monotonous gutter renovation.

Step 10: Take off bottom bendy part.

Step 11: Study how to take off long straight part - need screwdriver, which entails trip back inside.

Step 12: Unscrew long part - put aside.

Step 13: Put on bendy plastic part - decide to screw in to metal part for security. Requires new holes and another trip back inside to get drill.

Step 14: Drill and screw in plastic bendy part. Decide more metal gutter needs to come off, so unscrew, take off, drill, rescrew.

Step 15: Bend and fold and twist plastic bendy part to divert rain to top of rain barrel.

Step 16: After much consideration, decide to switch spigot and plastic cap - decide spigot needs to be on bottom-most hole to get all rain out. Both components are screwed in pretty good, so another trip back inside to get pliar tool thing to loosen.

Step 17: Unscrew, rescrew, adjust plastic bendy gutter thing.

Step 18: Decide barrel should be on blocks so I can get a pitcher under spout. More moving, positioning barrel, bending, twisting plastic bendy, until it appears all is well. Very excited, because much rain is predicted.

Step 19: Wait for rain - am not disappointed. During a break in rain, I decide to go out and check on barrel (I have issues). Notice all rain is pouring over top. I loosen lid on barrel, and rain begins to flow inside.

Step 20: A few hours later, I decide to check on barrel again, expecting to jiggle barrel to hear a few inches of rain. Barrel is so full, it is overflowing. The instructions say in this case, to connect the long gutter back, but the end of plastic bendy thing is too big, so this is not feasible. So, rain just continues to splash all over concrete slab.

So, in conclusion, I have my rain barrel. It is now full. I do not need it to water the outside plants, because it has been raining a whole bunch. I will go out and get some to water the indoor plants.

I just don't know what to do with tomorrow's rain!