Sunday, July 31, 2011

Brain Ruts

A few years ago, a friend told me all about brain ruts. It's when you're so used to thinking a certain way, or behaving a certain way, or doing things a certain way, that you don't always realize that that same old way is harmful to your happiness and well being. I took her advice to heart and managed to get out of some of those ruts, and it was quite freeing.

However, lately it seems that I've gotten back mired down by some of the same old ruts, and maybe even some new ones. Just like when you get your car tires stuck in the mud or snow, it's pretty darn frustrating. It's the last place you want to be, but it sure is hard to get out.

Eventually you do get out (I've never heard of anyone staying in a mud patch or snowbank and setting up house). Sometimes you have to jump up and down on the back of the car to get it out (I'm from the South - we do that down here). Sometimes you have to put something under the rear tire to give it some traction (and don't even get me started about the things I've heard people put under that tire). Sometimes you have to push and pull and push some more (hopefully with some friends that helped get you in that mess). And sometimes you just have to call AAA who comes with a tow truck to save the day.

It's time for me to get out of some of my brain ruts. It will probably involve making some changes (and I can already hear my family thinking, "what the crap is she going to do now?"). I don't know what they'll be or how or when they will happen. I know it will not be an easy road - there will probably be a lot of pushing and pulling and jumping up and down. I may even call for a tow truck or two for some help.

But I'm eventually going to pull out of these current brain ruts. There's just too much road to cover and adventures to experience to sit in a rut by the side of the road.

Today's blessings: Picking up Lindley and her parents at the airport; an hour with Jena at ME; afternoon time with Lindley, Sam, and Lynnette; talking to cardboard recycle dude;figuring out the embroidery machine with Molly; Steve cooking pork chops for dinner

Saturday, July 30, 2011


After last night's fun escapade, today seemed rather lackluster. Of course, it could have been the residual brain fog. Or it could have been my body taking advantage to catch up on sleep from this week's insomnia nights. Whatever the reason, to recover, I did the following things - in no certain order.

1. Sat on the couch.
2. Ate
3. Lay down on the couch
4. Ate some more
5. Slept on the couch
6. Ate breakfast
7. Changed out of pjs (even though I barely remember putting them on)
8. Had a snack
9. Watched tv on the couch and took a nap
10. Had lunch
11. Read email. Exhausted, took another nap
12 Took a shower, washed hair, and put on clean clothes (since I think the ones I had on had been taken off the floor)
13. Ate dinner
14. Watched HBO movie, taking a snoozer in the middle of the movie
15. Wrote mandatory blog post.

Now it is time to go to bed and put this whole vertigo thing away, hopefully to never return. The vertigo thing, that is.
Today's blessings: Steve and Molly getting chicken minis at Chic Fil A; Molly bringing lunch; Steve grilling hot dogs for dinner; head returning to normal

Friday, July 29, 2011

Vertigo - It's Not Just A Movie

I never saw this movie. I don't do (or watch) scary. However, since experiencing my own re-inaction of this word, I'm thinking maybe sitting through the movie might have been more enjoyable. Here's my episode synopsis:

On Friday, after working her more-than-ample butt off in butt camp with the assistance of her co-buttcamper Tall Karen (AKA Blond Karen) - well, let's not say they worked, let's just say they are very good actors and can appear to be exerting themselves when The Commandant is looking their way - Luanne spent the rest of her morning hauling excess furniture to Maribeth's garage for storage. (Okay, so I know that's an excessive run-on sentence - I shall attempt to make it up with several sentence fragments later). Luanne also enjoyed lunch furnished by Molly, who could have been the villain in this episode, were she been the Arch Villain Verta-Go.

Anyhoo, after an afternoon nap and shower, Luanne picked up Molly and headed to Groupon Nail Spa, because Molly's pedicure groupon was going to expire (as in be no longer usable, not dead) that day. Again, this location would be ripe for a potential villain, had this been a Jackie Chan movie. But since it was just another day in the Life of Luanne, there was only Chuck, who had just started on Tuesday, who painted Luanne's toes.

Unable to find a parking place close enough to the discount haircut place where Luanne had hoped to obtain a cheap and ill-advised haircut, she decided to proceed to the airport where she was to pick up husband Steve, who had been out of town. Here's where the adventure began.

Luanne picked up Steve at the pre-decided pickup location, the deck for departing passengers. (Yes, that's right -departing. Never mind that he was arriving. It is not pertinent to this story. Movies stars - even those in their own scary movies - are allowed to bend the rules). As Luanne was pulling out of the DEPARTING parking deck, she began to maneuver her car to merge with the various other lanes of traffic (arriving, car rental, valet, shopping, McD's drive-thru). All of a sudden, the world started spinning, or stopped, as Luanne's head did the exact opposite. Images got bigger, or was it smaller, and also started spinning, or stopped. Luanne had the presence of mind (for once) to slow down the car and put her foot on the brake, without sending Steve through the windshield. She then mentioned to Steve something to the effect that she was dizzy, and could he drive (I think that's what she said - possibly in English with no cursing involved).

Steve, who had been busy telling stories of his sojourn in Ft. Lauderdale, seemed to grasp the situation and took action. There might have been words about moving over or getting out or Whazzup!, but again I do not recall them, as I was busy trying to hold my head steady. Steve got out of the car on the passenger side and managed to run over to the driver side without getting hit (remember the MERGING traffic lanes), yelling to one merging car, "Yeah, we're fine, she's just little dizzy"). Luanne had put the car in park, and rather than attempting to get out of the car and probably falling on the road and getting run over by the rental car mergers, somehow managed to heave herself over the gear shift contraption and into the passenger seat (this dexterity is probably due to two years of butt camp - imagine what could happen should she decide to actually exert herself). She even managed to fasten the seat belt, thus avoiding the annoying ding, ding, ding, probably saving her life (either from the sound or the potential car crash with the merging traffic). In spite of the cold chills that quickly ensued, Luanne managed to keep her head from falling off her head on the ride back.

The dynamic duo managed to make it back home, where Steve escorted Luanne to the bed, bringing her a bottle of cold water, a cold rag for her head, and a pill for the dizziness from his own bout with vertigo a few months earlier.

The day after, all seemed right again. There was still some wacky-headedness, from the cold earlier in the week, the meds, the current congestion, and the fact that there was nothing to watch on television.

Oh, and Luanne was unable to make her 6-mile group training wog for this week. You knew there had to be a plot somewhere, didn't you?

Today's blessings: Last day of butt camp for the session; moving stuff to Maribeth's; Puffy Muffin lunch with Maribeth and Molly; pedis with Molly; Steve's help

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Okay, I Think I've Cured My Cheetos Addiction ...

Today's blessings: Thursday butt camp group with the Karens and Gloria; 5 miles in the 'hood; Las Palmas takeout with Maribeth, Molly, and Plates

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Luanne's Shoe Advice

Ummmm ......... all kinds of no.

Ahhhhh .... now that's what I'm talking about!!

Today's blessings: Hump day butt camp with Karen; Maribeth bringing dinner over; lazy day

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Well Hello Tuesday!!

I guess this really starts on Sunday night, when I couldn't get to sleep. I ended up getting only a couple of hours sleep, and had about a zillion cat naps on the way back from Florida. Last night I managed to get to sleep on time, not realizing what Tuesday might have in store.

Fast forward to 4am this morning. Minnie the Cat spent the night outside to insure that she would't be waking me up to go outside. However, Maggie the Cat decided to hack up whatever was bothering her in her stomach. I got out of bed, determined to throw her outside before said hacked-up material could be expelled from her stomach and onto my floor. Unfortunately I was too late.

Since it is dark at 4am, I did my best to collect the offending material (both to me and to Maggie's stomach). I scooped it off the floor and disposed of it in my bathroom. I decided to return to my bed for a few more winks of sleep, only to step in a previous incarnation of Maggie's hacking up. Eeyuuu is right. I cleaned that up, hoping Maggie was done for the day.

I got back in bed, thus beginning the internal debate of whether I would make it to butt camp or not. My nose was starting to get stopped up due to a summer cold and/or summer allergies. I was still sleep deprived from the night before. I was tired. But I decided to go anyway. Sometimes sleep deprivation doesn't always help with the big decisions.

Butt camp was ... well, it was butt camp. Running, jumping rope, jumping jacks, crunches, and other assorted maneuvers. It was hot, thus resulting in sweat dripping off my arms. By the ever-grateful end, I was worn out. However, my cold symptoms seemed to be gone.

Upon my arrival home, I changed into dry clothes and ate breakfast, then decided to catch up on some sleep. At some point I decided to take some sinus pills, not reading the directions very well. I took two pills instead of one, which resulted in a very deep sinus pill haze, or the pills added about 30 pounds to my head, as I could barely hold my head up. Rather than attempt to drive Steve to the airport, Maribeth took that errand and then got me a highly caffeinated drink from McDonald's. Later Molly brought over dinner, and eventually my head lost weight and I could once again hold it upright.

So that was my Tuesday. My nose is still stopped up and I have no idea as to the status of tomorrow's butt camp. But at least it's night now and my bed is calling me.
Today's blessings: Living through butt camp and partnering with Cindy; Maribeth taking the airport run and getting me a drink; Molly bringing dinner; taking Sam, Lynnette, and Lindley to the airport (pre-sinus meds); watching "Secretariat" on tv

Monday, July 25, 2011

I'm Back!!

Goodbye Cape San Blas, Hello Nashville!!
Today's blessings: Breakfast with Eddie, Marilyn, and Steve; safe road trip home; buying cakes at the Piggly Wiggly caramel cake lady's kitchen; buying fresh peaches; Cracker Barrel dinner with Steve and Maribeth

Sunday, July 24, 2011

The Beach

This is Steve.
Steve likes the beach.
It is hot and sandy on the beach.
Luanne does not like hot and sandy.
Luanne stays inside where it is cool and takes pictures from the balcony.
That is why the beach is for everyone!
Today's blessings: Lunch at the The Owl Cafe with Steve, Marilyn, and Eddie and shopping in downtown Apalachicola and at Piggly Wiggly to get caramel and peach cakes; spending time with Adam, Allison, and Morgan; playing Scrabble with Steve, Marilyn, and Eddie

Saturday, July 23, 2011

The Long and Short of It

The Long - it was a long drive to Cape San Blass, Florida, especially through Birmingham, where some dudes were "working" on the Interstate. It actually looked like they were vacuuming. But we made it in time for dinner that Marilyn cooked, and enjoyed it with the Graves and Dye families.

The Short - this post, since I have spent most of the day in the car, got here in time to eat a delicious dinner, and am now ready for bed. With Minnie and Maggie the Cats back in Nashville, I will not have to get up at 4am to let them out, so I am looking forward to a solid night's sleep. Which means I will probably wake up at 5am, unable to go back to sleep.

Anyhoo, that's it for tonight. Tomorrow I will share pictures. Of the beach. On which Marilyn and Eddie's vacation condo is located. 'Nuf said!
Today's blessings: safe drive to Florida and eating at Milo's; seeing stuff along the way; dinner from Marilyn and seeing Adam, Allison, and Morgan, and Allison's family; seeing beach outside

Friday, July 22, 2011

And, It's Friday Again!!

Where does the week go? The yard is complete, the IKEA trip was a success, the weekend visitors came and went, butt camp didn't kill me, and I saw Kathy Griffin. All in all, a pretty successful week. Of course there are many things that didn't get done, that I wished that had, but I won't dwell on those. Besides, what would I do with next week if I didn't have stuff left over! I think this will be my plan for next week:

Until then, have a great weekend!!
Today's blessings: Friday butt camp with the Karens and Waddells; picking up Sam at the airport and his car at Firestone; lunch with Maribeth at Cracker Barrel; Disney Princess Half planning

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Thursday Stuff

So today I stayed busy. I butt-camped and sweated buckets, I went to Lindley's school and read books and played with Lindley and her fellow inmates, I went to the grocery store and bought a pound of ground beef to cook for supper which I didn't, I chatted with the lawnmower dude about how low he cut the front yard and other such things, I went with Steve to pick up Lindley and take her to Pinkberry, I ate an early dinner from Sonic thus not needing the pound of hamburger, I took a short power nap, and then I went with Maribeth to TPAC to enjoy an evening of Kathy Griffin. All in all, a pretty full day.

So now it's off to bed because tomorrow it will start over with more fun things to do. Like empty the litter box. On to Friday!!
Today's blessings: Thursday butt camp sweat; meeting Ms. Rosalyn and playing with the kids at day care; Pinkberry with Steve, Lynnette, and Lindley and Sonic with Steve; Matt the Landscaper finishing the back yard; Molly's pound cake; Kathy Griffin and Sonic with Maribeth

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The War is Over

The liriope is gone (and yes, that is definitely an accurate illustration of my yard-working outfit). After my auspicious beginning, I wondered if the plant world was going to win. Maybe I retreated and lost the battle last Thursday, but I was not to be defeated. Matt the Landscaper came in with his helper, and together they cleared 98% of the enemy out from its stronghold. All that was left was the 10 feet (or was it miles) of plants in front of my rosebushes. Matt said he was coming back - but I wasn't sure if he was channeling General McArthur or The Terminator.

Today I decided I was up to the task of finishing the job. Having learned so much from my last foray into landscaping, I (a) started earlier in the day, (b) made sure I was well hydrated, (c) made sure I was well shod, and (d) had gloves on my hands and a sweat band on my head. Sure, I still needed several breaks for water and to watch pieces of "Shirley Valentine" (which was conveniently showing on the television) during my breaks. But eventually, the last plant was pick-axed, yanked, and pulled out of the ground. Mission accomplished!

Now if only I knew what to do with the four bags of dead liriope ...
Today's blessings: Butt-camping with Karen; watching "Shirley Valentine"; pulling up the rest of the liriope; chatting and finding out info from moving neighbors; Costco-ing with Steve and Molly; trying Papa Murphy's pizza; exchanging diapers/clothes to Sam for lawnmower usage

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

IKEA - 1, Butt Camp - 0

The battle was on - would I skip butt camp in order to get an early start on the IKEA run that Maribeth and I had planned for today? When I asked Maribeth for her opinion, she declined to make a judgement. In fact her exact words were, "I will have none of that. We will leave at 7:15 am." So I was going to have to make my own decision.

I got up this morning at 5 am, clearly enough time to get to butt camp, sweat like a fiend, come home and shower, get dressed in fresh clothes, eat something, pick up Maribeth, and be on my way. But there was no time for a nap in that schedule, and generally, that is extremely important on butt camp days.

So instead I decided to chill out. I got dressed, ate, gassed up the car, called and then picked up Maribeth. We left about 30 minutes ahead of schedule, made it to Atlanta, got the IKEA treasures that had been requested by the family, and had lunch at the OK Cafe. We drove back to Nashville, doled out the treasures to the requestees, and made it home in time for "19 Kids and Counting."

So in the battle of IKEA vs Butt Camp, today IKEA won. Now if I can just find a worthy opponent for tomorrow morning ...
Today's blessings: safe trip to/from Atlanta with Maribeth; getting 98% of items on everyone's lists; lunch with Maribeth at OK Cafe; Maribeth reading to me on the way home

Monday, July 18, 2011

I Didn't Want To Do It - Part Deaux

Go to Monday morning boot camp, that is. Last night insomnia came to visit a spell, finally leaving around 2am. Then the cats decided it was time to go outside at 4am, and wanted me to open the back door for them. Getting up at 5am to attend boot camp and make a presentable effort was not looking so great.

But 5 o'clock came and the self-arguing began. I was tired, my legs were still a little stiff from Saturday's 4-miler, I needed sleep, I needed something to eat, blah, blah, blah. I argued with myself until 5:20, hoping I would give in. But I didn't.

I got up, had a toaster waffle and Diet Coke, got dressed, and went to butt camp. Luckily, my butt-buddy Karen there and skillfully camouflaged my lackluster attempts at burning calories.

After an hour of sweating and panting, today's butt camp session was over. I had managed to make it through without passing out. As usual, I was glad I went.

Now if I can just get the alarm to take tomorrow off, then I won't have to waste time theorizing why I should get my butt to camp.
Today's blessings: David and Kody taking the corner cabinets to a better place; Matt the Landscaper and helper taking out most of the liriope in the backyard; Wendy's dinner with Maribeth; sweet notes from Marlinda and Rachel

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Things My Children Teach Me

Apparently my language is worse than I realize. Some expressions that I thought were common apparently mean something else, and by that I mean something I should not say out loud. These are a few of my latest indiscretions (which I didn't know were indiscretions until I said them - in reference to the pictures below, not what they apparently REALLY mean). And if you don't know what they are, in either lingo, then welcome to the club - the "Better Left Unsaid" club.

Today's blessings: Pancake Pantry with Steve, Maribeth, Sam, Lindley, David, and Kody; an hour with Gina at Massage Envy; Lindley time; McAllisters via Steve for lunch; Maribeth furnishing pizza for dinner; lady walking her cat on a walker

Saturday, July 16, 2011

I Didn't Want To Do It

But I did anyhow. Wog the four miles with my training group, that is. Here's the story:

Molly and I signed up for a training program to get ready for a half marathon. Last week was our first meet. About 200+ women meet at a local running store at 7am, put on our identification (in case of emergency) bibs, and join our pace groups. I think the fastest groups run 8-minute miles. I'm at the other end of the spectrum - waaayy at the other end. Here you will find the groups that run 4 minutes then walk 1, or run 3/walk 1, or run 2/walk 1, or run 2/walk 2, or just plain walk. Last week I sort stayed within eyesight of the 2/1 and did 3 miles.

Of course this week we were supposed to do two "runs" of 3 or 4 miles on our own. I did zero runs of zero miles. I did manage to make it to butt camp everyday, so I hoped that it would make up for my lack of wogging. I hoped in vain.

Last night I went out with my family and overindulged via a guacamole hamburger/french fries/chocolate-chocolate dipped ice cream cone. It was still being digested this morning when I got up to let my dumb cats outside. I really was not in the mood physically, mentally, or emotionally to get out in the hot sun and complete today's requisite four miles. But that's the good thing about having a partner in crime when it comes to training. Because while you don't want to train, you're really hoping that your partner will call and say she's not going. The good thing is that she's hoping the same thing. Nobody wants to admit to being the weakling, so nobody calls and eventually somebody picks the other up, and off you go (albeit unhappily) to training.

Such was the case this morning. Got up, put the cats out (4am), took a brief nap, got up again, ate something, got dressed, and waited for Molly. She showed up and we both agreed that we didn't want to go, but we would and just hang with the walkers.

We get to the running store, put on our bibs, and go wait with our 2/1 and walking peeps. As usual, we started late - later when they stagger the running groups as they start out. We decided to go with the run 2/walk 2 group, as by that time we both had a 1% increase in energy, mood, and attitude.

Anyhow, an hour or so later, after a few hills, lots of sun, and a little jogging, we were done. We both had to admit we were glad we went and did what we could. So we rewarded ourselves with a visit to the Donut Den. Hey - we didn't do those four miles for nothing!!
Today's blessings: 4-miler with the 2/2 group and our sweet pace leader; Donut Den lady; McD's lunch with Lynnette, Maribeth, and Molly; fun times with Lindley; telephone chat with Marilyn; Steve's picking up Logan's for dinner with Maribeth

Friday, July 15, 2011

It's Friday - Be Happy!

Even when you don't have a paid job to go to during the week, there's something special about Fridays. Maybe it's because you know how happy working people must be about today. Maybe it's because you remember how happy you used to be when you were working and it was Friday. Maybe it's because Friday nights is the night you splurge on eating things like guacamole burgers and chocolate/chocolate dipped ice cream cones. Maybe it's because you know that butt camp doesn't meet on Saturdays. Maybe it's because tomorrow you can sleep in with no guilt. Everything just seems a little happier.

Then you remember that you signed up for a bleepin' jogging training group and tomorrow you have to be at the meeting place at 7am to do your group jog of four miles. Suddenly Friday sucks and you look at the forecast, hoping for a monsoon to come in overnight. Finally you decide to rename today for what it is - FAT CHANCE FRIDAY!
Today's blessings: Friday butt camp with Karen, Molly/Maribeth/Steve coordinating delivery of pop-up bed; Disney discussion with Mary Beth and Matt; afternoon visit from Maribeth, Lindley, and Lynnette; Bobbie's Dairy Dip dinner; safe arrival of David and friend

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Luanne Vs. Liriope

Matt the Landscaper has been busy in the front yard, putting down new sod and cleaning up the flower beds that I routinely neglect. I usually go out and tell him how beautiful everything is and how I was going to work in the flower beds, but hadn't gotten around to it. He acts like he believes what I am saying, but since he does have a measurable IQ, I'm sure he'd rather I just save my breath and let him work.

Anyhow, a few years ago I had this border plant around some of my flower beds in the front. It had grown to gargantuan proportions and I decided (my IQ has yet to be measured) that the plant needed to be in the backyard flower beds. Luckily Matt had some helpers, so I decided that they should dig up this plant (which google tells me is named liriope) and replant it in the back.

Fast forward a few years and I now have Liriope Gone Wild in the backyard. It grows up so big and bushy that you can't fully appreciate anything behind it. It also makes it difficult to manage the unseeable plants behind it (which gives me another excuse for not doing yard work), and is not pretty. So, when Matt started back on the front yard, I decided that Liri needed to go - forever.

Yesterday I mentioned to Matt that I wanted to take it all out. He said, "You sure have a lot of it." I casually mentioned that I would start taking it out today. Herein lies today's story, which is basically "How to take out Five Feet of Liriope in Two Hours In 15 Easy Steps." Rather than attempt to tell you the whole story, I'll just do it in Cliff Notes fashion.

Step 1 - make sure you do this during the hottest part of the summer because it's the dumbest time to do it.

Step 2 - make no specific plan about how you're going to do this - otherwise you will not do it because you realize it is a dumb thing to do.

Step 3 - go to butt camp at 5:45 and lift weights and run around and other such nonsense because then you will have jelly arms and lifting the pick ax won't register because you have no feeling in your arms anyway.

Step 4 - wait until the last possible moment to start this project. For me it was 10 am, just as the day is getting nice and hot and sunny.

Step 5 - dress for the job - for me it was my Disney crocs (no socks), shorts, and the t-shirt I slept in last night.

Step 6 - get the appropriate tools. I apparently have sold/given to my kids all my tools that would be applicable (think shovel or hoe). The only thing I have retained is a pick ax which apparently nobody wanted because the pick ax blade part is no longer secured to the end and slides down to your hands if you hold it up. Seriously. But of course, with my IQ, I decide that it will do just fine and head out to the yard.

Step 7 - start hacking at the ground in an effort to loosen up the root ball so that I can pull out the offending plant. After about five hacks to the ground, I realize that I am hacking up the ground and dirt is flying everywhere - mainly inside my crocs which is not making my bare feet happy.

Step 8 - go inside to put on socks. Walk outside and decide that will not be enough, as dirt will still be irritating feet, so return inside to put on worst pair of tie-up tennis shoes.

Step 9 - continue hacking, pull up first plant. Decide that sweat pouring into eyes is irritating, so go back inside to get sweat band for forehead.

Step 10 - continue hacking, pull up another plant. Decide that since it is probably 120 degrees outside, perhaps some heat exhaustion prevention is needed. Go inside and prepare ice chest full of ice packs and water and get two rags - one dry and one to put in ice water chest. Also prepare water bottle to hydrate and cool down insides of body.

Step 11 - continue hacking, pull up another plant. Decide that you need medical attention for blister that formed and popped do to tight grip on pick ax handle to prevent pick ax blade from slipping down handle. Wash hands, apply first-aid ointment, put on gauze, and wrap hand in 100-year-old first aid tape. Walk outside and return for gloves, which seems like a good idea.

Step 12 - continue hacking and pull up a few more plants. In between, go sit down in folding chair that has splotches of various painting projects on it, get cold wet towel and apply to face/neck/head and drink cold drink.

Step 13 - text Matt the Landscaper and ask him if his helpers want to make some excellent money by pulling out rest of plants. Imagine him rolling on the floor laughing at the thought of my pulling up said plants.

Step 14 - watch as sun makes it's way over the house so that backyard is fully brightened by full sun. Decide it is time to call daughter and get her to bring over lunch. Cool down with towel/drink.

Step 15 - try to hack down one last plant, but decide that time, temperature, and old age are no match for summer sun. Leave everything somewhere in the back yard and hope that Matt takes pity on the elderly and brings friends to help.

So there you have it - Luanne - 0, Liriope - 1. Oh well, at least I have five feet liriope-free!
Today's blessings: Partnering with Lucy at butt camp; liriope yanking; Maribeth bringing lunch; Pinkberry with Sam, Lindley, and Steve; Steve making Edam grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

To All Squirrels - Be Forewarned!!

First of all, I harbor no ill will. I am content to let you live your life, run through my yard, and live in my trees. You entertain my cats with your scampering as they contemplate chasing you (but figure it's much easier to just watch from the window). I will even feed you from the special little feeders I purchased so that you would leave the bird feeder alone - if I can remember to buy the squirrel food and put it in the special little feeder. However, lately you have been all over the streets in the neighborhood and in my driving lane. You have got to stop your daredevil ways and GET OUT OF THE ROAD!!!

First of all, is this your role model? If so, it's a bad choice. This was probably some stunt squirrel with years of experience, and it was probably all edited out in Hollywood. They just forgot the part that should have read, "DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME."

Second, when you dart out into the street and see my car, STOP JUST STANDING THERE LOOKING AT MY CAR! Yes, it is a car. Yes, it is coming toward you. Yes, it will flatten you if you don't move. SO MOVE!!!

Third, choose a direction and then skedaddle in that direction. Stop turning one way and then decide to go the other way and then turn around and go the first way. My brakes can only stop so many times before the gas pedal is going to take over and take its chances that you have chosen the non-flattening path. Choose wisely, BUT CHOOSE A DIRECTION AND GO!!!

Finally, look both ways and cross the street. Do not look both ways and wait until you see my car is coming and then dart willy-nilly across the street. Look for a clear path with NO cars, and then run like you-know-where and get across the street. Better yet, stay on your side of the street. Save the crossing of the road for the chicken.

So, dear squirrel friends, I hope you heed my advice. I am NOT interested in making some squirrel soup!!

Today's blessings: Tabata Day at butt camp; Red Lobster lunch with Molly and Maribeth; REI shopping with Maribeth; Matt the Landscaper pretty-ing up the front yard; making Barry's surprise; Maribeth's belated birthday dinner with Sam, Lynnette, Lindley, and Molly; picking up Steve from the airport

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Tuesday's Excuse

This is me.
Not blogging.
So instead I'll give you a weather report.
Today was hot.
Very hot.
I stayed inside.
Except at butt camp.
Where I sweated a lot.
So, to recap:
Lots of sweat, hot weather, not blogging.
Wonder if they're related?

Today's blessings: Partnering with Waverly at butt camp; Matt the Landscaper sprucing up the yard; taking Steve to the airport and picking Maribeth up

Monday, July 11, 2011

Who I Want To Be When I Grow Up

Sure she can do a close-up inspection of each leg hair, but what I really want is her sense of style. With her rockin' culottes and matching pink Mary Janes, she is one heckuva fashionista.

I just wonder if it's easier to get one's hip off the sign than on it.
Today's blessings: Making it through Monday butt camp without passing out with heat exhaustion; catching up on race scrapbook; Steve making cookies; hunting for Molly's Ipod

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Just A Sunday Thought

"You don't choose your family.
They are God's gift to you, as you are to them."
~Desmond Tutu
Today's blessings: Family brunch and afternoon Pinkberry

Saturday, July 9, 2011

A Perfect Saturday Night

'Nuf said ....
Today's blessings: Early morning 3+ mile wog with Molly and the Fleet-Feeters; shoe shopping with Molly and Lynnette; afternoon stroller stroll with Lindley and Steve; telephone chat with Marilyn; McAllister's lunch with the family

Friday, July 8, 2011

Corrupting The Youth

I have issues with Cheetos. It's not that they turn my fingers orange. It's not that the remains gunk up my teeth. It's not that they have voices that call to me to eat them. It's the fact that I listen to the voices and obey. And now, it's gotten worse. I have become a Cheeto Pusher.

Sweet little Lindley, who only eats the food she wants (and that changes from minute to minute), usually eats cheddar cheese, healthy granola bars, and pumpkin muffins when she's at my house. Occasionally she will eat a banana or some Cheerios with milk. She always washes down whatever with some milk. In other words, she eats the good stuff.

Sure, we've tried to push some contraband on her. She's said no to brownies and M&Ms. In fact, she gets fairly agitated should any unacceptable food be placed near her. Sometimes, it can even be good, healthy food. If it doesn't strike her fancy (and we never know what that fancy might be), she wants nothing to do with it.

So this afternoon, I thought it would be interesting to see her reaction to a Cheeto. I figured with its bright orange color and rough exterior, it would certainly be a no-go. I was incorrect. I have now created a Cheeto-aholic. We eventually had to hide the bag.

Bad Granny Lu. Guess I'll have to finish the bag myself. It's only because it's for Lindley's good. Really.

Today's blessings: safe road trip back home; Steve fixing grilled Edam cheese sandwiches for lunch; Steve's Bubba Burgers with MSU Edam cheese for dinner; dinner with Steve, Sam, Lindley, Molly, and Adam; phone call from birthday girl Maribeth; texting with John

Thursday, July 7, 2011

You Can't Go Home Again

Well, actually you can. While it may not be the home you remember, it's still home.

Today I went back to the town and house where I lived the first 20 years of my life. Both places have changed quite a bit over the past 30+ years, and yet they've stayed the same. I rode past Suzanne's house where I spent the night, past Amy's house that I would pass on the way to town, and past the road to the school where I spent the first six years of my academic career. I rode out in the country where my grandmother's house and our little country store were no longer standing, but the posts that held the bench around the big pecan tree were still stubbornly holding on. I road past downtown and saw Montgomery's Jewelry Store was still there and Main Street still had the semblance of what it once was. I rode out to the college where the campus swimming pool is long gone, but the building where I worked as a secretary looked exactly the same.

I guess the whole thing about going home is that as we change, so do those places we call home. The things about us and them that don't change are the memories that are forever stored in our hearts. The lawn hasn't grown smaller, because in our hearts we're still the little kids playing chase. The house isn't gone, because in our hearts we're still swinging in that porch swing. The restaurant we went on dates is not really a bank now, because in our hearts it's still that place we ordered a pound of ground round.

It's easy to go home again. You just have to go there in your heart.
Today's blessings: lunch and McAllister's with Steve, GDiz, and Anne; visiting Starkville and MSU

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Chill Out, Runner Dudes (And Dudettes)

I've started following a blog about reluctant runners. I figured it would be right down my alley, since I do love running - I could sit and watch it for hours. I read their posts and information and other stuff, and have enjoyed the blog (or website, or whatever it is). However, the other day the post was about "Don't Be That Runner" and I have to admit I got a little riled up. Mainly because I felt like perhaps the writers had written it after seeing me in a race. Except for the fact that we were not in a race together. And then some of the comments seemed a little snippy - at least to me and my homies.

Anyhow, the purpose of the post was to point out some of the runner types that you don't want to be. I agreed with some of them. However, since I AM some of them, I thought I would just create my own post to educate those fancy runners who could never understand my "running a race" methods. So here goes to all you runnin' fools - from those whom you can't believe actually have a race bib on.

1. We paid the entry fee, the race accepted our entry, 'nuf said. They deemed our money good enough to buy a bib, so get over it. Yes, we will wear our race shirt on race day. During the race. Yes, we will have fuel belts, visors, walkers, and possibly an oxygen tank and defibrillator. But by George (and he's probably in our group), we're going to enter and finish this race, so you get out of OUR way. Which won't be that hard, since you are running so fast, we aren't even in the same time zone.

2. Why don't YOU work an expo and give out the high-number bibs. You know, the 25000 numbers - numbers you didn't even realize existed. Talk to the people who will wear those bibs. Look at their faces - a mixture of fear and elation. Listen as they tell you they don't know if they can finish, but they're going to try. Encourage them. Give them some pointers. Wish them luck. Then see if you look at these runners any differently.

3. Why don't YOU work a race and give out water. Maybe you can forgo running a race to really seeing what a race is all about. The elite runners (yeah, there are those who run faster than you) won't even look at you as you're holding a cup of water. But the back of the pack-ers will be grateful for anything you want to hand out - water, an encouraging word, a peppermint, a cold wet sponge. Just don't say, "You're almost there." Unless we are looking at the finish line, we're not almost there. Seriously.

4. Why don't YOU work a race and give out medals. You know, those things you have sooooo many of. Wait around for that very last pack of runners and put the medal around their necks. Watch their tears flow and then give them a big sweaty hug. You have no idea how much it has taken for them to get there - but you can certainly show them some recognition of their herculean efforts. So what if they wear it all day, all the next day, and to church on Sunday? It's been a significant moment in their lives, and they want to relish it as long as they can. For a little while, they were a real runner - just like you.

5. If you're so good, be a coach. Team in Training certainly could use you. Better yet, form your own training team. Get a beginner running group at work, school, church, or the neighborhood. You obviously are the expert, so help reform us wannabes. Then, when race day comes, run with us. In fact, before you start your coaching career, run a race with us. Yes, it will be slower than you ever imagined. Yes, you will be crying with us - us, because we are trying to get to the next mile marker and you, because you cannot believe that anybody can go this slow. But you can believe this - back in our section, we have a good time. We talk to each other, look after each other, and help each other get to that next mile. Camaraderie - heard of it?

So the next time we're in a race together - and unless you've put down the wrong race time (there's a booth to change that at the expo) we won't be in the same corral -just run on past us. Laugh at our outfits (we don't care), marvel at how much equipment we are carrying (we don't know any better), and run around us (even if that requires running across the ditch). Unless I have a harness around your waist in an attempt to get a PR, I won't be impeding your finish time.

By the way, be sure to give me a shout out as you whiz by. I won't be the sports bra only girl - I'll be the one pulling her Gu out of her sports bra.
Today's blessings: Sweaty butt camp day; giving blood at Red Cross and the medical personnel and fellow donors; nice drive to see GDiz; Little Dooey's with Steve, GDiz, and Ann