To All Squirrels - Be Forewarned!!

First of all, I harbor no ill will. I am content to let you live your life, run through my yard, and live in my trees. You entertain my cats with your scampering as they contemplate chasing you (but figure it's much easier to just watch from the window). I will even feed you from the special little feeders I purchased so that you would leave the bird feeder alone - if I can remember to buy the squirrel food and put it in the special little feeder. However, lately you have been all over the streets in the neighborhood and in my driving lane. You have got to stop your daredevil ways and GET OUT OF THE ROAD!!!

First of all, is this your role model? If so, it's a bad choice. This was probably some stunt squirrel with years of experience, and it was probably all edited out in Hollywood. They just forgot the part that should have read, "DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME."

Second, when you dart out into the street and see my car, STOP JUST STANDING THERE LOOKING AT MY CAR! Yes, it is a car. Yes, it is coming toward you. Yes, it will flatten you if you don't move. SO MOVE!!!

Third, choose a direction and then skedaddle in that direction. Stop turning one way and then decide to go the other way and then turn around and go the first way. My brakes can only stop so many times before the gas pedal is going to take over and take its chances that you have chosen the non-flattening path. Choose wisely, BUT CHOOSE A DIRECTION AND GO!!!

Finally, look both ways and cross the street. Do not look both ways and wait until you see my car is coming and then dart willy-nilly across the street. Look for a clear path with NO cars, and then run like you-know-where and get across the street. Better yet, stay on your side of the street. Save the crossing of the road for the chicken.

So, dear squirrel friends, I hope you heed my advice. I am NOT interested in making some squirrel soup!!

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Today's blessings: Tabata Day at butt camp; Red Lobster lunch with Molly and Maribeth; REI shopping with Maribeth; Matt the Landscaper pretty-ing up the front yard; making Barry's surprise; Maribeth's belated birthday dinner with Sam, Lynnette, Lindley, and Molly; picking up Steve from the airport