Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Heigh-Ho, Heigh-Ho - It's Off To The Gyno I Go!!

Last week I got the boobies smushed and squished by the mammo-machine, so it was only natural that this week would involve a visit to the gyno for a check up of the rest of my lady parts.  Since it is always a highlight of my year, I decided to recap today's event. You're welcome.


As any lady knows, there is a lot of work involved with the yearly look-see.  First of all, it begins just after you leave the gyno office - you make a mental note that you have 365 days in which to lose all that weight so that next year you will be slim and trim and get the "Golden Stirrups" award for being so awesome and losing so much weight.  Then, 364 days later, you are frantically searching the Internet for a diet that will help you lose 50 pounds in 18 hours.  Finding nothing, you do the next best thing - go order a Bic Mac with fries. After all, what does it matter now?

Anyhow, the day arrives of your visit with Mr. Spec (you know what I'm talking about).  I always like to have a morning appointment.  There's a slightly better chance of the doctor being on time and not having to go deliver some one's baby (and don't bother me with statistics on when babies are usually born - I like living in my state of denial, thank you).  Also, with a morning appointment, I don't have to worry about not eating all day to keep from putting extra pounds on the scale.  And I don't have to thinking about "hopping up on the table" all day.  And I don't have to figure out when I'm going to shower so I will be all fresh and everything.

So that was my plan for today.  Except that I was on "taking Everley to school" duty and she decided to sleep a little later, which meant a later arrival at school which basically meant I have about 20 minutes once I got back home to take a shower, find decent clothes that I could squeeze in to, and try to lose 50 pounds. Oh, and also drink as much water as possible so that I can contribute that bodily fluid as is usually requested.

Miraculously I managed to get to the office in time.  I had brought a book to read, which I decided I no longer liked, and skipped to the last chapter to finish it off.  Soon it was my turn, and I followed Nurse Nice to the Interrogation Room.  This is where you get weighed and your blood pressure checked.  Of course, they had to bring in the postal scales to get my weight, but she deducted two pounds for my shoes and clothes (and didn't buy into the theory that my shoes weighed 50 pounds).  Anyhow, she did my blood pressure and then asked if I needed to go to the bathroom.  NEED TO GO?  I had downed a gallon of water on the way there and managed to convince my kidneys that no, they were not going to burst before I got to the office - did I need to go? I said that yes, because I thought that was a requirement, and she said it wasn't anymore.  The times they are a'changin'.  Anyhow, I did visit the facilities and left a sample and then proceeded to my own little room.

Here is where you strip and put on the free garments - a paper "gown" and a paper "blankie" to cover yourself.  The gown comes with a "belt" which is comedy relief thinking it would encircle anything on my body.  I decided to just tie it in my hair for a hair bow (yes, I really did).  All the while, I am chanting to myself to the gown, "Please meet in the middle."  By careful maneuvering, I managed to cover all the important parts.  I have found that different gynos use different "inspection garments."  Molly's uses some type of silky robe - just what I would need, to be slip-sliding away on the exam table.  I once had a gyno who gave you two napkins - one the size of a doily and one the size of a place mat, and expected you to cover up with that.  Anyhow, I got covered and concentrated on not sweating, which would probably disintegrate the material and therefore my coverage.

Anyhow, soon Dr. BN comes in and is just lovely.  Does she say, "You know, it's a hassle to get them big-a#$ postal scales in here once a year for you," or "Gurrl - you need to lose some weight."  Nope, she is all happiness and joy, and admires my lovely headdress/former belt.  She gets down to bizness and in a matter of moments is all done.  We chitchat a little more and soon our visit is done.  At least until next year. Which means I have 365 days to lose weight.  Or at least bring my own postal scales ...
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Today was a great day because:  taking Everley to school: finishing up my yearly mammy/pappy exams; picking up Everley and Lindley at school and having E and L time

Monday, July 21, 2014

Monday Tidbits

So the past couple of times I've gotten in my car, I've heard a faint little "ding."  I would glance at the dashboard, looking for a glaring "YOU IN TRUBBLE NOW, GURRRLL" type indicator, but could not see any.  I would look at my radio, thinking perhaps it had suddenly developed that thing that Steve has on his satellite radio that dings every time 50 Cent is playing on a channel - but the words "50 Cent" did not appear on my dash.  I would glance at my phone, thinking perhaps it was telling me something - but no, the face was dark and silent.

Finally today, as I was pulling out of the driveway, I heard the ding again, and I perused the dash a little more closely.  Uhhhh - I believe the ding was telling me that I WAS OUT OF GAS!!  Luckily for me, my little car coasted on fumes until I could get to the gas station.  Apparently little dings mean a lot ...

On today's agenda was picking up these two and heading to KB's pool for a pool birthday party for her two 9-year-old ggirls.  One of these two dutifully put on her swim life jacket thingy and one did not, preferring to keep LaLa busy running after her, insuring that someone did not fall into the pool and drown, an incident that would be frowned upon by someone's parents.

Nevertheless, a good time was had by all - the one who spent the entire time in the pool and the other one who visited the food bar several times - in between balancing on the side of the pool and flirting with falling into the pool.  After cupcakes, everyone was returned safely to their parents and their homes.  And LaLa went home and directly to bed ...
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Today was a great day because:  taking Everley to school; picking up Everley and Lindley and going to KB's pool party; a little vacay planning

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Mileage

Today the Udderly Pink 3-Day Team went for a walk.  We stopped for drinks (thanks to Bruce) and photo ops.  The day was overcast, which was a big help in getting in our seven miles.  In two months we'll be in Philadelphia for the 60-mile, 3-day walk to fight breast cancer.  We're almost to our goal - but just in case you want to donate, here's the link:  CLICK HERE!!


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Today was a great day because:  7 miles with the Udderly Pink Team; pedis and frig shopping with Molly; Steve's safe travel home

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Ummmm...


This would be funny and true - if only I'd gone running today ...
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Today was a great day because:  Everley sleepover; breakfast with Everley and Molly at Charity's Sonic; Wal Mart with Everley and taking her home; cruise planning

Friday, July 18, 2014

TBT - Race Day Part 2

After posting yesterday's 5K race pictures from this retro weekend of races back in 2008, I couldn't resist and had to post this one from the 15K. Not sure whose idea it was or how Maribeth remained upright once I hopped on her back (hopefully photographer was really quick), but it sure made for a fun picture. And apparently amused the lady behind us!
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Today was a great day because:  Taking Everley to school and picking her up after school and then having her overnight; chatting with DCL dude; nice cooler summer weather