Jeggings? Really?

As usual, I am behind the fashion times. Apparently the new hot trend is "jeggings." For those of you who are not in the know, this item is what results when jeans and leggings mate. Last year, one would have to dole out nearly $400 for a pair (or set, or whatever), but this year you can go to your local Wal-Mart and get some for $14. Whew - guess I won't be needing that second mortgage after all!

I would like to start my tirade by saying that obviously I will never be seen in public in jeggings, Wal-Mart or not. The only time I wear leggings of any sort is (a) under my big-old-lady jeans because it's freezing and my flab is no longer sufficient to warm me, (b) as part of a pajama outfit that consists of leggings and a faded and stretched-beyond-recognition t-shirt, (c) when I have lost all of the good sense the Lord gave me, or (d) I am the last person on Earth. Naturally, since I will not be participating in this fashion trend, I really don't know why any one else would either. Oh - that's right - there are skinny chicks out there on whom these would look fabulous. My bad.

Anyhow, I can't help but wonder what other fashions will not be permitted to mate, resulting in even newer and more expensive fashion possibilities. How about:

• Shocks - why bother putting on socks AND shoes - these will get both in one fell swoop
• Shoves - gloves attached to the ends of your shirt - perfect for cold weather
• Branties - a one-piece, do-it-all undergarment from upper to lower
• Birts - for the messy eater - a bib on the top of your top
• Skirdle - for those ladies who have neglected those sit-ups and crunches

I could go on, but why bother? I am an old lady who is content with the basics - shirt, pants, coat - and have them plenty loose and flowing. I don't have the body for new-fangled clothing that's form fitting. I need fabric, and lots of it. In fact, maybe I'll just start my own fashion trend - the Lumu - it'll cover it all.

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Things that make today great: BSC with Lindley and 2-mile stroll