I'm A Real Housewife

I admit it. I watch The Real Housewives Of Orange County. I would be just like them, if I just had the Botox, the hair bleach, the chest enhancements, and the Rolex watches that they have. But it seems like I have arrrived. On last week's episode, Bravo teased me with their new series, The Real Housewives of New York City. One of the housewives is, LUANNE!!

I found the following description of Luanne (Bravo spells it one way, this blurb spells it another - welcome to the Luanne World!)

LuAnn de Lesseps is a real-life Countess. Her husband, Alexandre Count de Lesseps,is a French aristocrat (of the Suez Canal dynasty). With LuAnn's Countess title comes a great sense of pride - the de Lesseps presented New York City with the Statue of Liberty. She uses her title to help with her various charities and is a socialite very much in demand, as well as a busy mom of two. The de Lesseps travel extensively around the world, with trips to exotic locales in Italy, Switzerland, France and Africa. She also teaches etiquette on morning television shows and has a local cable show on WVVH-TV in the Hamptons called The Countess Report.

Just in case I get mistaken for the Countess, I will henceforth go by my own blurb:

Luanne (one word with an "e" on the end) Lewis Davidson is a really real-life housewife. Her husband, Steve, is a Mississippi boy (from Tennessee parents). Luanne's title comes from her own Mississippi heritage - she was once crowned Dairy Princess of Oktibbeha County. With this title comes a great sense of courage, because in her publicity photo she had to pet a calf, which probably grew up to give milk to Vitamin-D-needing people. Luanne uses her title as a stepping-stone to more important titles, such as Princess Aurora (for those in the know). She is very much in demand to her family and friends who willingly tag along on her extensive travels to the Worlds and Lands of Disney. Luanne has three kids, whom she managed to birth without the use of drugs (even though she begged and pleaded). Luanne eats with a spoon and fork and watches cable television.

I hope this helps you tell the difference between us. If you still have trouble, just remember - I'm the one whose face will still move!