Puerto Vallarta

I wanted to post a picture that would most accurately sum up our tour today in Puerto Vallarta, but blogger would have none of it. So I will have to try to describe the neighborhood in which we had our mid-tour “snack.” Amid the broken-down vehicles and buildings, were the local business establishements. The actual cantina (probably our tour guide Adan-Call-Me-Adam’s brother’s garage) pretty much blended in with the surroundings. We were given a quesadilla and a drink (I chose 7Up, hoping that whatever active ingredients were in the soft drink would combat any of the organisms in the food or on the hosed-off plate). The snack was good, especially if one just eats (hoping the wetness from the glass plate is from a hot-water rinse and not a dog-lickin-creek-rinsin) and ignores the rooster walking around outside (really). Obviously this establishment is a family run business, as our Adan(m)’s whole family was out selling their jewelry and lovely painted doo-dads. (We didn’t buy anything there, but bought identical doo-dads later at the town flea market, probably actually made by Chin-Lee over in China). Another of Adan(m)’s relatives brought his pet parrot, so in case the chicken ran away, you could eat with a parrot. But that was only part of our tour.

A (as I shall call him to save internet time) started off the tour by telling us how terribly he recently hurt his foot playing basketball (even though he is obviously middle-aged and 300 pounds). He reminded us quite often, and when he wasn’t reminding us of his infirmity, he was grimacing and wincing, even though he was sitting down at the time. At every stop he managed to tell us the A’s Version of Puerto Vallarta history. He also told us he had two degrees, was a back-packing and snorkeling and scuba diving guide, and once got upset because at the underground sea something he thought he saw paper in the water while scuba-ing, but when he got closer, it was actually money that had come out of people’s pockets so he made a billion dollars picking up “trash.” He is also trying to save the environment, so he instructed us not to have our picture made with the lizards because the people who do that stress the lizards out and then throw them in the trash. He has never been out of Mexico, takes his vacations in September, except this year when he is going to Canada for a conference in July. He also has a friend who back in the 60’s was a waiter for Jackie Kennedy when she came down with all her friends, and she tipped him $100 a person. And even thought the houses on the coast cost millions of dollars, he has a friend from Alaska who is coming down to buy one to live in and two to rent.

Anyhow, a mind can only hold so much information, so when A let everyone off the bus to “shop” at his relative’s jewelry shop (where A hopped all over the store giving us his special drinks he makes of tequila and lemon and water and whatever), Marilyn and I decided to abandon the tour, shop, and take a taxi back to the ship. We managed to hit the local flea market, Starbucks, and Wal-Mart (where we attempted to purchase gift cards for our room steward – cards we hope are legit) before heading back to the ship and lunch.

By the way Puerto Vallarta is named for a person. I should know – Adan-Call-Me-Adam told me so!