Jenna and Me

I saw the sign in the distance as I drove down the street - Jenna's Toy Box. I began to imagine all the toys I could get for Lindley at a small exclusive toy shop. As it turned out, that would be none - although Jenna had "1000s of videos," they were all XXX rated. So much for that shopping excursion.

However, it made me think about advertising one thing on the outside and being something else on the inside. For instance:

... would people think I was a good mother if they knew one child spent her formative years eating only chicken fingers and ketchup?

... would people think I was a good sister if they knew I cut up my sister's Chatty Cathy dress and broke her ballerina doll's legs?

... would people think I was a good teacher if they knew sometimes I took videos to class just so I could get a break for an hour?

... would people think I was a good friend if they knew the things I said behind their backs?

... would people think I was a good person if they knew the questionable words I sometimes said or the jokes I sometimes repeated?

... would people think I was a good Christian if they knew the selfish acts I engage in on a fairly regular basis?

I wonder if there really is a "Jenna" and if she would really have a child's toy shop instead of an adult one. I wonder if she is sometimes ashamed of her store and wishes things were different. I wonder if she regrets her choices in life.

I wonder if I am not so different from Jenna. I make a lot of questionable decisions and act in ways I'm not proud. I wish I made better choices and lived up to what I'm representing on the outside. I wonder if I can ever do that which I want to do and be.

I guess the main thing is to keep working on the inside, keeping in sight what I'm advertising on the outside. I need to be mindful of who I want to be and keep arranging and rearranging to make that person strong. I need to get rid of what is not in keeping with who I was created to be and practice the gifts God gave me.

Because in the end, my life is like my own store. It's up to me to decide what I'm selling.

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Things that make today memorable: chocolate chocolate-dipped ice cream cone with Steve at Bobbi's Dairy Dip; visiting Lindley and Lynnette; clean sheets; beautiful day in Nashville