Perfection - Not

I am in Florida on vacation. By that I mean that I am not here for any specific reason, therefore I can do whatever I wish without having to be somewhere. So I decided to use the time to do a few projects. My category for family Christmas this year is "make it" which means my gifts to everyone have to have some element that I made myself. This week has given me the time to start several of these presents. However, things have not turned out as well as I had hoped.

While two projects are about 60% complete, there have been a few bubbles, mainly due to my lack of planning before proceeding full steam ahead. Because of my lack of planning, I have arrived at the end of a task, only to find that either I can't complete it as planned, or the end result is not what I had hoped. At that point, I am faced with a dilemma - do I start over, make do, or abandon? Most of the time, I make do. While I am not 100% satisfied, I push on.

I then face a new dilemma - is this really something I want to give someone else? Is my less-than-perfect attempt really worth giving to someone as a gift? If I were really serious about the quality of these handmade items, wouldn't I try harder or take more time or be more meticulous about the details?

The answer to the last question is no. While I would like for the projects to be perfect, if I went that route, I would surely throw them all in the trash, because then the journey becomes more about perfection than anything else. I am trying to give an idea that is manifested in a tangible way, albeit imperfect. While the fruition of that idea may not exactly turn out as I would like, the idea will still be there. And hopefully, the idea will recognized as the gift, in spite of the uneven borders and slipped stitches and flimsy attempts at repair.

I will end up giving these projects as gifts. They may not be perfect, but neither am I. Most of the receivers of these gifts know that. But hopefully they also know the messages behinds those gifts - messages of love, cheer, thanks, and joy, which will always come out perfectly, no matter how they present themselves.

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Today's blessings: Super grunge project day; Steve picking up pictures, Redbox, and Red Lobster for dinner; "Grownups" movie (even though it could be the worst movie ever); Maribeth's arrival back in Nashville

Didn't Do That Either

This would not be a picture of me working out today, even though I had half-way planned to. I had also planned to jog, and maybe even take a swim, but I also didn't do either one of those. I was going to eat well and make wise food choices, but I didn't.

Instead I shopped with Molly and spent some money. I ate some cranberry bread but eschewed McDonalds. I started on my Christmas gifts (since my category is "make it"). I watched two movies that I don't feel were a total waste of time. I washed clothes and gassed up the rental car.

In other words, I got stuff done, although not necessarily the stuff that I thought I was going to do. So I guess it was a pretty good day.

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Today's blessings: First Watch breakfast with Steve; shopping and lunch with Molly; Molly's safe trip home; starting on projects

My New Purchase

If you don't know what it is, then you probably don't need to know. If you know what it is, I can only hope that you have one and have experienced tremendous results. All I know is that Molly and I each have one and are expecting great things.

And yes, Molly and I are delusional at times.

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Today's blessings: Shopping with Molly; lunch with Steve and Molly at Giordano's

When On Vacation ....

Today was grunge day, which meant I put back on the same clothes I had on yesterday. Without a shower. And went shopping with Molly. Who also did not take a shower, but did change clothes after wearing the same pajamas for 18 hours straight. Apparently we have no shame.

But we are also out of town on vacation, so apparently we also do not care. We did watch two movies, with more on the horizon tomorrow. The good news is that showers are also on the horizon. Yay for vacays!!

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Today's blessings: Joanne's and Ikea with Molly; grunge day; Mississippi State win the Egg Bowl

Road Trippin'

Just got off the road after driving a bunch of hours to meet up with Molly and Steve, who have been on an after-Thanksgiving shopping extravaganza. The drive was uneventful, although I am probably questioning a few of my stops for snacks. Next time I will try to find a Wendy's/gas station/truckstop whose clerk actually has teeth. And I will reconsider purchasing Combos from a gas station whose ladies toilet is positioned about twelve inches off the floor - perhaps it was a child's toilet? Anyhoo, I'm here and it's time for a snooze. Vacation awaits!

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Today's blessings: safe drive; Christmas music radio stations; meeting up with Steve and Molly

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I have many, many reasons to be thankful this year, so here are just a few of them. Thank you, God, for these and all the other blessings You've given me this year!!

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Today's blessings: Boulevard Bolt with Steve, Sam, Lynnette, and Lindley and seeing Booties Kelsey and Karen; post-BBolt Starbucks via Steve; taking Steve and Molly to the airport; Wal-Marting with Sam, Lynnette, and Lindley

Thanksgiving Dinner - Or Not

For the past few days, I have been reading all my facebook friends' descriptions of their vast cooking preparations for their Thanksgiving meals. Since there will be much talk about this, at least in our family and friends circle, I thought I'd better set the record straight. Thanksgiving Dinner 2010 did not go as planned. Here's why:

I actually started off on a positive note. I remembered to get the turkey breast (I gave up on a full bird years ago, when trying to cut meat off could only be accomplished if I had consumed Valium with a vodka chaser before wielding the knife). I even remembered to get it a few days before Thanksgiving so it could thaw. Of course the turkey breast Steve picked out wasn't frozen, so I was really on the road to Thanksgiving Dinner Success.

On the way to the car after purchasing said turkey breast, I casually asked Steve when his and Molly's flight was on Thanksgiving Day (they are flying to Orlando - yes, we were just there - blah, blah, blah). He answered that the flight left at 12:30, meaning they would need to leave the house at 11 am.

Using my 9th grade Algebra skills, I calculated the time we would need to eat the Thanksgiving meal, and decided we would need to eat at approximately 10:00 in order to get to the airport at the designated time. Thanksgiving lunch quickly got cancelled.

The problem was that I still had the turkey breast. Since most of us would be out of town, I decided to cook the thing today, Thanksgiving Eve. It's really not difficult - I just toss it in the crockpot in the morning and 12 hours later, it's done. No, the turkey cooking wasn't hard - it was just all the other stuff that needed preparing.

At some point, I decided we would just have turkey sandwiches. We've never had turkey sandwiches, so I wasn't sure of the recipe. I figured we would need gravy, which I also don't make. So, Steve went to the store and bought some.

I emailed the family and told them we were having turkey. Sam said he would bring Amish sweet rolls (he should have brought an entire Amish Thanksgiving meal), Lindley refused to bring anything, and Molly said she would bring the leftover bags of chips from her house re-warming party - that was held last Saturday.

By the time the family assembled, we also had a butt-load of cous-cous, some fancy corn, some black-eyed peas, Blue Bell vanilla ice cream, and Hershey's syrup/caramel sauce/Magic Shell. The best part of the meal was my Diet Coke float.

So, there you have it. My 2010 Thanksgiving meal. It had turkey and some veggies. It had dessert. It had family. And the best part is that it's done and now it's time to plan for our family Christmas meal. Maybe I should go ahead and break out the Valium and vodka now.

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Today's blessings: spending the day and taking a stroller walk with Lindley; turkey for dinner with Steve, Sam, Lynnette, Lindley, and Molly

Status Check

*My Common Cold - waning, but still present in the form of slightly hackier cough, more substantial runniness, and friskier sneezing. (Hey, you asked - oh, you didn't? Never mind.) A good night's sleep provided by sleep-helping drugs helped.

*Mom projects at Molly's - currently clear except for hanging the pink plastic thingy. Of course clearing that list involved several trips today to Home Depot to buy the new door lock, then to get new keys made, then to take back the lock with the new key stuck in it, then to return the packaging and other part of the lock that had the new key stuck in it so that Molly could sleep in safety.

*Grocery/Thanksgiving shopping - got a bag of sugar so that I don't have to rob Steve's coffee sugar stash for the iced tea and end up sending him to Molly's for the proverbial cup of sugar. I also got the turkey breast for Thanksgiving dinner, only to be reminded that Steve and Molly need to leave for the airport at 10:30 am. Turkey brunch?

*Jogging - hey, I've been sick with a nasty cold. So what if I am supposed to be doing the 5-Mile Boulevard Bolt on Thursday? I'm doing with Lindley at her pace. Since she can't walk yet, I think I'm good.

*Cleaning the house - just thought I'm inject some levity here.

That's about it for now.

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Today's blessings: Helpful (and not-so-helpful) dudes at Home Depot; plumber dude at Molly's; leftover pizza and veggies; breakfast at the Pantry with my butt camp buds

The Common Cold - Day Two

Nose still runny. Cough still ridiculous. Body still achy. Still taking a variety of meds in an attempt to find the miracle cure - no luck so far. And today my eyes are weepy and achy. I have no fever - I took my temperature and it was actually a degree below normal. Of course, the thermometer is probably decades old, and probably doesn't work (sort of like my bathroom scales).

So, in conclusion, the common cold sucks. Big time. I'm going to bed in hopes that the cold fairies will work their magic tonight!!

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Today's blessings: locksmith dude; picking up Steve and the airport; Steve's Bubba Burgers with Sam, Lynnette, Lindley, Molly, and Adam

Why I Hate Having A Cold

1. The nose thing. It runs then it doesn't. It stops up - sometimes on the left, sometimes on the right, sometimes on both sides. It leaks out of one side, then the other. Sneezes are non-productive, as is blowing the nose. Basically, the nose goes on vacation.

2. The teeth thing. Mine hurt. I think it's because my sinus cavities sit right on top of my teeth. Maybe my teeth are just ticked off because my nose went on vacation.

3. The lame coughing. Because it's just the common cold, there's very little coughing involved. Usually it's just a little, "Aheh, aheh." It's more like a backwards hiccup and very annoying. It would be much more satisfying to hack something substantial up. But then again, so would a good sneeze.

4. Drug controversy. Which one do I take? Is there one for a lame cold/sneeze/cough? Do I need the diphenhydrochlorotylaprin? Which one did I take the last time that seem to work? By the time I figure out which drug works, the cold is over, so did it really work?

5. The general ick feeling. Basically I don't want to talk to anybody or see anybody or acknowledge that there are other people in this world. I want to pass out on the couch and watch "Law and Order" for hours on end. If only I knew which was the "good drug."

So there you go. I have a cold and it stinks. At least I think it stinks - I really can't smell anything - my nose is on vacation!

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Today's blessings: Brunch at the Factory with Molly, Sam, Lynnette, and Lindley; pedis with Molly; putting junk in storage; phone chatting with Maribeth

Yay!!

After a few days of hard work, we got Molly's house ready for her House Re-Warming Party. We moved furniture and swept floors and dusted tables and hung shelves. Not everything is finished, but it was enough to feel like home again.

And I am tired.

Happy Home, Molly!!

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Today's blessings: Molly's house getting in order; taking Steve to airport; visiting with Sam, Lynnette, Lindley, and the Gowing Family

And That Was My Friday

I thought about skipping butt camp, but I didn't. Instead I went and hopefully worked off the loaded Whitts Barbecue baked potato that I later had for lunch. And the Death by Chocolate covered with chocolate sauce that I had for dessert.

I went to Wal Mart to purchase curtains for Molly's house, carefully checking to make sure each package was the correct length. Well, almost every package, since one out of the four packages was the wrong length. This involved another trip to Wal Mart to return the longer length package and purchase three of the regular size curtains, since I had failed to calculate the width of one of the windows. I ended up with a sideshow at Customer Service when I got to observe Purple Shoe Man and his sidekick Sideways Baseball Cap Dude try to return/exchange a Timex watch which the jewelry department wouldn't take back. Customer Service had some issue having to do with a $50 and/or $75 return limit, to which Purple and Sideways left in a huff after getting Customer Service Lady's name and store number. Sort of made my $10 curtain return rather boring.

I waited at Molly's for the plumber to come and inspect the leaks that the duct dudes told me about yesterday. Plumber came and reported that basically all the pipes under Molly's house were either (a) incorrect, or (b) incorrectly installed, or (c) the incorrect type. Basically, most of them needed to be ripped out, changed, or replaced, which he started on and will return to finish on Tuesday. Glad I bought the $10 curtains and not the $15 ones so I can pay for the new pipes.

The painters were also at Molly's and we attempted to communicate before they left. Unfortunately, they do not speak the good English and I do not speak the good Spanish, so who knows what we communicated to each other. I think they were looking for paint and will return one day to finish. They probably think I want them to walk the dog and do the laundry.

This evening I attempted to put together an Ikea Expedit (the "must have" piece of Ikea that can be used for any and all needs in this world). To put it briefly, it was a pain in the rear. I hate wood dowels, especially since I managed to break several. We also only bought 2 sets of wheels and needed 3, and Ikea is four hours away in Atlanta, so the thing will just have to sit on the floor until we manage to get more wheels. Serves it right for being so uncooperative in the assembly process.

I guess that's about it for today. It's time for bed and I need sleep so I can help Molly tomorrow, like cleaning out her freezer by eating more of that ice cream!

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Today's blessings: Last day of butt camp for this session; Wal Mart drama; plumber dude; cleaning up with Molly; Whitts lady; Steve's Bucky's delivery

My Kind Of Cat!!

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Today's blessings: Butt camp Thursday; duct cleaner dudes; picking up Lindley at day care

Tonight's Visual

So sue me.

I'm going to bed!

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Today's blessings: Butt campers; breakfast with Steve at Cracker Barrell; floor finisher dude; Molly's new couch; phone chat with Maribeth; picking up Lindley at day care

Have You Seen This Month?

Would someone please tell me where November went? It seems to me that yesterday I was buying Halloween candy. Apparently next week is Thanksgiving, and Christmas will be hot on its heels after that.

I'm not sure if I've slept through some of this month, or lost a few days in the transition from Daylights Savings Time to Not, but here it is, November 16. I think because it gets dark so early now, those hours after dark are shortened.

Anyhow, I'd love to sit around and debate the loss of November, but I need to get busy. My New Year's Resolutions need to be made!!

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Today's blessings: Back to butt camp; Hiller plumber; floor dudes fixing Molly's floor bubble; getting stuff done at Molly's house; picking up Lindley at day care

Home Sweet Home

Home again.

Playing with Lindley.

Petting Maggie.

Catching up on Molly's house.

Sleeping in my own bed.

It's good to be home!!

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Today's blessings: safe flight home; Molly's house progress; picking up Lindley from day care; Demos dinner with Steve

Dear Mike,

Sorry, but our four day affair is over. I must give you up and return to my family.

Sure, we had fun. We met some pro golfers. We tried to learn their deepest darkest secrets. We tried to learn the secrets of their golfing success. We learned words that we didn't even understand. But our learning days are over.

Sure, we were a team. Wherever you were, I was there. Whatever you heard, I heard, too. You seemed like an extension of my own arm. Without my support, you would have fallen. And without you, I would have had no purpose for the past four days. But now our team must disband.

By next week, we will be history. You will team up with someone new and learn new things. I will hold other things and wonder why I hear nothing through them. We will go our separate ways. But we will always have our four days at the golf tournament at Disney.

Good luck Mike, and may the next hand that holds you be clean and germ-free.

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Today's blessings: Day 4 of golf tourney, nice golfers, beautiful day, and saying goodbye to volunteer friends; yummy lunch spread; Epcot shopping; chicken dinner at Downtown Disney

Saturday Near The Park

Disney Parks, that is. Today was Day 3 of the Children's Miracle Network Golf Tournament, held on the golf courses that are so close to the Magic Kingdom, you can hear the train whistle. It's quite magical - at least to me. Maybe not so much to the golfers that I follow as part of my Golf Channel audio gig.

Today I followed three young golfers (the oldest is 31). My job is to stick a microphone as close as possible without getting in the camera shot or the golfer's golf shot. The problem is when the two goals conflict, as when the golfers/caddies snottily ask me to give them some more room and the Golf Channel Dude in the control booth is screaming at me through the earphone to "GET CLOSER, GET CLOSER!!" At that point I can only think of one thing to do with the furry microphone - to everybody involved. But I don't - I just step away and/or back and/or closer and endure the rolled eyes and deep sighs.

There were moments today when I wanted to quit. But I didn't, because the perks are too good. I get to hang with the Golf Channel crew and see the backstage goings-on. I get a free lunch. I get to see some golf pros up close and personal. For four days work, I get three rounds of golf and two one-day park hopper passes.

But I think the best perk are the friends I have made. Several are people I met for the first time last year and who remember me. Others are new this year. We are exchanging emails and facebook pages. We share stories and interests and plans. For four days we're family, and for that, I'll take some random eye rolls and deep sighs.

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Today's blessings: Another day with my GC volunteers; GC lunch spread; seeing Steve and George on the course; finishing early; chocolate decadence at Ghiradelli; pretzel at Wentzels

Another Day on the Links

Basically my day was spent in sanctioned eavesdropping. I had to do this by sticking out a fuzzy microphone without getting in the camera shot and not getting in the golfer's way. The hope is to get some sparkling golf conversation or nuggets of wisdom, but mostly I just got jibber-jabber.

I tried to look like I knew what I was doing, but I don't think I succeeded there, either. They ran out of women's shirts when they were giving them out, so I got two XL men's shirts, which look more like men's shirt dresses - and long-sleeved ones at that, since the sleeves go past my elbows. I probably look more like a homeless volunteer.

Anyhoo, my radio went out on 17, which meant I had to go back to HQ. I got to see an alligator by the side of a lagoon, but didn't get a ride back from Old Dude Golf Cart Driver, because he had to wait for somebody. Luckily, I got ride on another cart and my day was done (as were my feet).

Tomorrow it will be more of the same, hopefully with the same good results, those being (a) not getting yelled at by the golfers/caddies/Golf Channel people, (b) not getting arrested by the fashion police, and (c) not getting ett by an alligator. On to Saturday!

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Today's blessings: fellow Golf Channel volunteers; chatting with folks on the buses; alligator on the course; dinner with George and Steve; clean clothes

Busy Day ...

... equals basically nonexistent blog post. But it was a good day, full of seeing friends from last year and meeting new ones. Full of talking to people on the bus and sharing information. Full of chatting and making plans and thinking about possibilities.

I would say more, but a hot shower and a comfy bed say otherwise. Until tomorrow!!

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Today's blessings: Seeing all my golf tourney buds from last year; new Golf Channel folks; other golf tourney volunteers; seeing Carlos Pena, Dr J, and a deer on the 18th hole; finally getting my volunteer jacket; dinner and mall-ing with Steve; ice cream with George; hot shower

Mug-less

Recently, while putting a mug away, I dropped it and it broke. It wasn't a big deal, except it was the sole remaining mug in a set of four that Steve and I received as a wedding present. Once it was broken, I had a choice - toss it or throw it out?

On one hand, it could be considered a "family heirloom." We have had it for over 30 years. Certainly it could used for something?

However, do I really need a broken mug to remind me of my married life? Can all those years be condensed into one piece of pottery?

I thought about it, and about Sam's new book. And in the end, I decided it was just a mug, a broken one at that, and certainly one thing I didn't need.

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Today's blessings: Shopping at the MK and Pecos Bill's; picking up golf tourney credentials and shirts; lazy afternoon; dinner at Pepper Market with Steve

Just Call Me Kate

Earlier this summer, much was hyped about Kate Gosselin's diva departure from camping with Sarah Palin. While I cannot stand Ms. Gosselin since she decided to place being a celebrity over being a mother, I have to admit it - on the camping thing, I get it. Here's why:

A few months ago, in anticipation of our trip to Disney World for my volunteering stint for The Children's Miracle Network golf tournament, Steve got a special deal on a Disney hotel. The "hotel" in question was the Cabins at Fort Wilderness.

This seemed like a fun idea. I hope to be able to say I have stayed at every Disney World resort and Fort Wilderness was on my "to do" list. I have puttered my way through the campground on a segway tour and have seen the actual campground (which I would never consider doing in either a tent or camper/RV). I have even seen the outside of the cabins. But since I have never actually stayed in the cabins, I thought this would be a prime opportunity to knock this resort off my list.

I lasted 3 hours.

First of all, it wasn't Disney's or Fort Wildnerness's fault. The cast members were nice, the campgrounds were campground-y, and the cabin was clean and neat. There was only one problem - us. We are not campers - in any sense of the word. We want big beds (in the bedroom there was a full bed and a bunkbed - we sleep in a king-size). Steve kept referring to the cabin as a FEMA trailer (as in, "New Orleans called - they want the trailer back"), even though the outside was covered with "logs" and looked very cabin-ish. There was a Murphy bed in the living room, a full kitchen, and a big tv (meaning a 1990's tube tv). In short, it was a cabin, and apparently we don't do cabins.

So, Steve went down to the registration building (don't even get me started about the bus system in the campground - very efficient, but very not us) and explained our dainty ways to the cast member. He called all the resorts at Disney World and found us lodging at Coronado Springs, another resort on my list, now to be crossed off. We are now happily in one room with two queen beds, a flat-screen tv, and plenty of room. Disney pulled through and delivered.

Today I learned I am not a cabin person. I also learned that just because I think someone is a horrible excuse for a person, I can still empathize. But mostly I learned that you don't have to stay where you don't want to be - especially if you have a hubby who will take care of business for you!

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Today's blessings: Safe, smooth, quick flight; brief visit at Fort Wilderness Cabins; Disney cast members; Red Lobster with Steve; downtown Disney shopping; Coronado Springs new room

For? Fore? Four? Faux?

Tomorrow I am headed to Disney World for The Children's Miracle Network Classic golf tournament. No, I'm not competing. I'm going to be a volunteer with The Golf Channel. Quit laughing.

I did this last year. At the end of our four-day stint, we were asked to sign up if we wanted to do it again. I did. I think I was on either a "Thank goodness this is over" high, or a "Hey - free Disney tickets and golf rounds" high. Maybe even both. Anyhow, I signed up and here I go again.

Basically, I was a "spotter." I had a headset, golfer info sheet, and a headset thingy whereby I could speak to the dude in the booth. My job was to follow a set of golfers, figure out who hit the ball where and what shot they were on, and communicate this information back to The Golf Channel HQ. It was all fine, as long as I could follow the ball, which wasn't all the time. Thank goodness for the sign-carrying and scoring volunteers with whom I "conferred" when the ball was hit. Thanks to them, I didn't make any really bad errors.

So, now I'm set to go back and repeat the experience. One might think that with my poor ball-following capabilities, I might have been practicing. Yeah, I knew there was something I should have been doing. In other words, I have not improved. We can just hope that I will once again be paired with other nice volunteers. Or maybe I'll just get assigned a different Golf Channel job.

Wonder how these dudes like their coffee?

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Today's blessings: Monday butt camp buddies; taking Maribeth and Mathieu to the airport; donating blood at Red Cross and the blood-taker lady; picking up Lindley at day care and taking her home; Molly's house progress; Steve cooking ham and cheese sandwiches for dinner

Fall Back, Fall Down, Fall Out

I don't know what time it is, but my brain says it's time for bed. Of course, that could be because I awoke at who-knows-what-time this morning. It was getting light, which means it was later than I usually get up, but earlier than I thought it was - or is it the other way around?

All I know is that I have spent most of the day wondering what time it is, then looking at the clock, and being surprised at what time it is. That is, if it was a clock on which I had remembered to change the time.

In other words, this whole daylight savings time thing has never been my thing, even though once a year I get an extra hour of sleep. But not really, because I lost it at some point during the same year.

Oh well, at least I don't have to bother with it until next year!!

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Today's blessings: returning stuff to Home Depot; Molly's floors getting sanded and Adam starting on staining the deck; Steve's Bubba Burgers for dinner with the entire family; Maribeth and Mathieu's wedding pictures

And ... We're Back!

Molly and I made it back from our whirlwind Atlanta returning/shopping trip. We got a bunch of stuff and went a bunch of places. We got things we planned to get and things we didn't plan to get. We got some good deals and saved some money. We played car games and made a few stops on the way to Atlanta and back. We ate some good food and maybe ate a little too much. All in all, it was a good trip.

Oh, and I won the alphabet game twice, because Molly couldn't find a "J". I just need to study my trivia before Thanksgiving ...

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Today's blessings: Shopping with Molly; safe trip back home; babysitting Lindley

Road Trip!!

Molly and I are in Atlanta. We drove through rain and sleet and sun to get here. We are here to return some stuff at IKEA, and of course, buy some more stuff. We have also managed to buy some stuff at H&M (although not for me) and had a bite to eat at the OK Cafe.

Tomorrow we will go to The Container Store to return some more stuff and buy some other stuff. We may find the other H&M to get some more stuff (although not for me). Who knows what else we may do.

The good news is that we will be back on the road to Nashville by noon, gaining an hour on the way back and another tomorrow night, so we should be well-rested by Sunday.

Welcome to my weekend!!

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Today's blessings: Friday Butt Camp with my buds and 2 on 2 basketball game; road trip to ATL with Molly

How to Install A Kitchen Faucet

1. Get somebody else to take out the old faucet. It's probably corroded, and you probably aren't strong enough to twist and turn the old, corroded, non-working faucet.

2. Go to Home Depot and buy a really fierce-looking wrench. Or pliers. Or vice grips. You will need them, because even though you are a weakling, nobody else is at home to help you take out the old, corroded, non-working faucet.

3. Get out the hacksaw, because your new tool isn't doing the job, and maybe the old faucet will be scared when you produce the hacksaw. Never mind the fact that there is very little you can do with the hacksaw, because everything is too thick or too close together.

4. Get out the tin snips - not to snip tin, but to snip the supply lines that refuse to be unscrewd.

5. Twist, turn, snip, cut, saw, and hammer-bust the remaining pieces of the old faucet. Eventually you will get the old faucet out - it just may be in small pieces.

6. Take a break with cola of choice, chocolate of choice, and old episode of "Law and Order."

7. Read the directions. By that, I mean read the ones that pertain to the particular model you are attempting to install. Look on front of box for model number.

8. Cut off top of box with picture of faucet - will save the time of flipping back and forth from the top of the box (with picture) and the inside of box (with parts).

9. Study pictures that accompany the directions. You will still put stuff on backwards, but at least you have the right parts. They're just on backwards.

10. When things don't seem to fit right, ignore the situation. Pretend that (a) that's the way they're supposed to be, and/or (b) once it's all put together, it will work out. Neither of these possibilities will be true, but at least you'll save yourself from frustration points.

11. Accept that things are on backwards when the faucet reaches the bottom of the sink instead of over the sink. Readjustment won't be too hard - you need a few other tools, like a piece of hard plastic cord cover.

12. Finally, adjust the screws, turn on the water supplies, and test the system. More than likely, you've done it all correctly and you have water - in the sink, not on the floor.

Now, about that slow toilet ...

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Today's blessings: Installing new kitchen sink faucet, concrete step dude and lady, picking up Lindley at day care with Steve, Maribeth, and Mathieu

I Cooked Dinner For The Family Tonight

And then I ate too much of it.

So now I have to lay on the couch and moan.

So much for eating sensibly today!

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Today's blessings: Butt camp buddies and Kelsey's sweet fb post; Matt replacing water line; picking up Lindley at day care and her new shoes; Maribeth and Mathieu home for a visit; dinner with Steve, Molly, Adam, Maribeth, Mathieu, Lynnette, and Lindley

Why I Will Never Be A Swamp Person

I spent three hours tonight watching "Swamp People" on The History Channel. This is not a scary movie a'la "Swamp Thing." Instead, it is a documentary of sorts about people who hunt gators - as in alligators. After my extensive study of these people, I realize I will not be able to join their ranks. Here's why:

1. I prefer wearing underpants. It would appear that Big Dude doesn't wear any under his overall-shorts. How do I know this? Enough of Big Dude's midsection is viewable, and there is no indication of any kind of waistband.

2. I cannot do two things at once, like stand up in a boat and shoot a gun. Especially at a moving, rolling target, like an alligator. The other option (boat job) is to wrassle the alligator, using my bare hands holding onto a rope that is hooked into the moving, rolling, pissed-off alligator's mouth.

3. I do not smoke. Although if I had to do this for a living, I am certain I would start smoking. Any and all kinds of smokable things.

4. I do not hold on to the belief that a life jacket is going to save me, should I fall off the gator-huntin' boat. All that will do is keep me a floating bait for the big-uns (as in gators) that are waiting to bite my appendages off.

5. I prefer bubble baths to Clorox baths. Apparently, because gator-gettin' is a really smelly job, one dude pours Clorox in his bathwater to bathe in. Ouch.

6. Bugs. There has to be about a billion where the hunting (?) fishing (?) spots are. If there's anything worse than alligator bites, it's got to be bug bites. And there is probably poison ivy/oak/sumac in there, also. Yeah, I'm too dainty to be out in the wilderness.

7. Raw meat. Apparently you have to handle this stuff to put on the hooks, then you have to hang the hooks in the trees, or on sticks that you put in the water. Then the next day you have to come back to see if you hooked anything, but the raw meat may still be there. Big icky.

8. I lived in Baton Rouge for a few months, so I recognize Cajun when I hear it. But I don't speak it. And since my English is often garbled, I would probably need an interpreter. So the Cajun could unna-stan me.

9. It looks scary. And I don't do scary.

10. Every time they "put an alligator down" and pull him into the boat, all I see is Louis. And I do "do Disney." So, Louis's friend and families will have no threat from me.

So, in conclusion, I shall never be a swamp person. And I'm sure all the swamp people are breathing a sigh of relief with that news!!

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Today's blessings: Electric contractor dude; beautiful fall leaves; getting a few things accomplished

Monday, November 1

I always love Mondays that are also the first day of a new month. It just seems like a day to start new projects and change bad habits. And so it is with me ... again. Once again I am going to try to get this weight loss/eating better/getting in shape thing going.

I've bought a new scale, joined (actually rejoined) Weight Watchers Online, and ordered some necessary materials. I'm hoping that this go-round actually makes a difference and my life gets in order, once and for all.

I decided to get a little inspiration, too. While I was at Target today, I came across the Halloween piggy banks - 50% off. I decided to get this little guy. He sits on my kitchen counter. My idea is that when I eat the right thing, or don't eat the wrong thing, I'll feed this little piggy some cold hard cash. For every pound I lose, Punkin Pig will get fed. It will be my reminder, my focal point, my symbol of better things.

Ultimately I have two goals. One is to weigh 142 pounds - the goal suggested by Weight Watchers. The other is to jog a half-marathon in under two hours, thirty minutes. At this point, both goals seem redonkulous. But maybe this time I will get it together and achieve both goals.

When I do, this little punkin piglet will do as all magical pumpkins do - change into something fabulous. I know exactly what it will be - you'll just have to wait to see.

Impossible? Maybe not!!

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Today's blessings: Monday butt camp; picking up Lindley at day care