Monday, July 15, 2013

Just The Annual Lube And Oil

Yep, today was the day for my annual lady parts checkup.  It's amazing how fast a year can zoom past, especially when you weigh in at the gyno's office and swear you will be slimmer and trimmer when your next year's appointment comes around.  Too bad that year flies by and you find yourself no slimmer or trimmer and perhaps even more chubbier and chunkier.  Of all the things that go on during this appointment, mounting the scales is possibly the worst.

Anyhoo, that's the predicament that I found myself in today.  I've had ample time to attempt to shed pounds, or even ounces, but to no avail.  My only saving grace was that I weighed myself before I went in, so I could tell Nurse Weigh-Me-In a starting point, less she spend the next 30 minutes trying to adjust the weights on the machine.  She did say that she would deduct two pounds for my clothes, to which I said at my girth, two pounds really doesn't make a difference.  Once the magic number was procured, I proceeded to provide the necessary sample, and then retired to the exam room where my gown made of Kleenex and my tissue paper lap cover were waiting.

While waiting for Dr. Nice, I spent the time trying not to sweat lest my delicate paper garments rip and tear, since they are required to cover quite a large area.  Of course, at my age, sweating is pretty much as automatic as breathing, so I try to hold my arms out and thus avoid sweaty armpits.  It's a stellar sight.

Eventually Dr. N comes in and we exchange jolly comments, none of which are about my weight, which is a huge reason she is the best gyno ever.  She then proceeded to work her craft, and soon the whole thing was over.  After 55 years and 3 kids, everything is pretty much an open book.  We finish our conversation and she leaves me to change out of my now-tattered-from-sweat-drops paper rags.  I leave, swearing next year will be different - a slimmer and trimmer me.  After all, one always needs to have a goal ...
The Good Stuff From Today:  good checkup with Dr. N; Everley time; afternoon power nap


Marilyn said...

I miss Dr. N ! I go for my checkup with a new N.C. doc tomorrow.

molly said...

My new dr gives satin robes instead of paper gowns.

Luanne said...

Mar - hope you have real gowns!

Mols - I don't believe you!