As I was sorting the clothes in the laundry room, I noticed that the floor was a bit tacky and the room was a bit warm. I also noticed that there was a whole lot of lint material stuck to the cabinet by the dryer. I pondered these facts for a bit and proceeded to investigate this phenomena. As you might have been able to surmise by now, my dryer vent hose had a split in it, thus spewing hot air and lint into my laundry room (yes, with these highly honed investigative skills, I should have been a detective). Obviously my next step would be to replace the defective hose.
The first step was to get a replacement hose. Being easily swayed by appliance delivery people and appliance repair people, I remembered one of this group of professionals once telling me that I needed the super-duper special metal hose pipe, as the usual curly/Reynolds wrap type hose would probably set my house on fire whether the dryer was actually in use or not. And never mind that is the kind of dryer hose that I have on my current dryer (and probably every dryer in history). Anyhow, I convince myself that I will put on the super-duper hose. Just as soon as I purchase one.
I head off to Wal Mart, where all things are purchased. It is a small Wal Mart and it took me awhile to find the dryer hose department (which is actually three boxes of hoses on a top shelf). Unfortunately it is not the super hose I am searching for, but the regular type. Rather than go ahead and get one anyway, I decide to leave the store and instead head down the street to the upscale shopping mecca of Home Depot. I find the hose that I desire and head for the checkout lane. With my newly paid-for hose in hand, I get in my car and head home, after a chat with my pal Emily in the parking lot (whom I haven't seen in ages). It started to rain and we both headed to our respective homes and home projects.
Now comes the fun part. First I should describe my laundry room. Basically it's the size of an old-timey (think 50s) back porch that was enclosed back in the 70s. In other words, it's roomy but not spacious. In this room I have a front-loading washing and dryer (not stacked), a big hot water heater, and two-door cabinet next to the washer that has a counter but the inside houses the litter box, and a small one-door cabinet next to the dryer. The hot water heater is in the corner and the dryer is to the right and the washer is to the left. There is still enough room for three laundry sorting bins and for me to turn around to load and unload the machines. Oh, and did I mention that the dryer hose snakes through the little cabinet to the outside part?
So I get out the new hose pipe and get to work. The first problem is getting behind the dryer to attend to the desired location. To do this, I have to maneuver the dryer out. But the washer is large and I have to maneuver it so that there's room for the dryer. But the sorting bins are sort of in the way. And when I eventually get the washer moved and the bins moved and the dryer moved, there's no room for my fat fanny to get from behind the dryer to go anywhere. And because I am a boot camp dropout, I have no upper body strength to booth my bodacious butt over the tops of the machines.
Nevertheless, somehow I get behind the dryer and take off the offending hose, noticing the gash in the hose that was spewing the hot air and lint into the laundry room. I also had to empty out the small cabinet to unhook the hose from the outside housing, when I notice another gash spewed lint all over the beach towels that are housed there (thank you for the now-extra load of laundry). I unhook the hose, put the linty towels in the appropriate dirty clothes bin and begin the task of hooking up the new hose. Which is made of firm steel or aluminum or some other metal - it doesn't matter which because it doesn't want to bend like I would prefer. Instead it prefers to cut my fingers.
Nevertheless, I continue to try to bend and pull and adjust the pipe - while I have my broad shoulders shoved into the tiny cabinet (which is shrinking by the minute). The pipe doesn't bend or fit around the outside housing. I bend and pound the push and prod, but nothing happens. Except for the cutting of my appendages. I come out of the cabinet periodically for fresh air and return to this futile operation.
Finally I admit defeat and somehow shimmy out of my hole and return to Wal Mart. I have on my lint-covered pants, my hair in wild disarray, and scratched up hands - clearly I belong at Wal Mart. Anyhow, I buy the hose that I should have bought two hours ago and return home to start over.
Basically in the next 15 minutes I have the fire-causing hose attached, all machines back in their places, all the lint cleaned up, the bins returned to their positions, and the first loads of laundry in their cycles. All is right with the world.
At least as long as I have the fire extinguisher handy ...
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Today was a great day because: I managed to get Everley and Lindley to school even though I left both in tears and I had to return to home and then school to get Lindley some different shoes because her new sandals hurt and Everley just kept saying she wanted to go to LaLas house; I got the dryer hose changed eventually; I got to see Emily and chat a bit
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