Thursday, June 24, 2010

The "Shuns" of Butt Camp

Tomorrow is the last day of this session of boot camp. I've missed several days for various reasons, but have managed to slug it through. I'm hoping to do better next session (even though I say that every session and have yet to achieve that better status). Anyhow, I just wanted to share some tricks of the butt camp trade, just in case you join me.

1. Modification. This means that when the rest of the group is doing a maneuver where you are doing some version of a sit-up, then you're supposed to roll up, then you're supposed to get up on your feet and jump up, you can do the best you can. Which may be to just lie on the ground and hope that it's close to quittin' time.

2. Justification. This means that you have a reason for modification. It may be because you're: old/overweight/wearing the wrong clothes/still upset over last night's American Idol Elimination/need a Starbucks. As long as you have a reason, you have a chance of living through the workout.

3. Airification. This means that you must put your mat in front of the only fan in the gym, if you wish to continue to breathe. On the other side of the gym, the one with no fan, there is no air, thereby restricting one's ability to do the obligatory side-scissor-crunch-partner-leg throw over your head exercise.

4. Waterfication. This means that you really should have a water bottle handy. Perhaps spiked with a little "extra" encouragement.

5. Laughification. This means that you must tell a few jokes so that when you are supposed to be doing 60 billion partner belly-busters, you can distract your partner from counting. This way you can also be known as "the funny one" instead of the "old, slow, chubby one."

There you have it. You can now join me at 5:45 am - I'll be the one next to the emergency defibrillator equipment.
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Things that make today great: Boot camp outside; check-up with Dr. Nylander and her friendly self; picking up Lindley at day care; new suitcase delivery

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