Sunday, September 23, 2007

Small Comforts

When I was a little girl, my grandmother lived in a house next to mine on the family farm. On Saturday nights, I would spend the night with her. One of our traditions was the drink she would fix me - cranberry juice with 2 saccharine tablets. It was a special treat, because she prepared it just for me on our special night.

I've always been a fan of cranberry juice, probably from the fond memories of those Saturday nights. Sometime along the way, I discontinued the saccharine tablets, but cranberry juice has become my favorite drink.

During my recent hospital stay, I could have nothing to drink for 24 hours before my surgery. All I could think of was what I wanted to have as soon as I was allowed - a glass of cranberry juice. Looking back, I wonder if not only represented the one thing that would satisfy my physical thirst, but that emotional need to feel safe and loved.

I think about the other things that comfort me. I have a blue pillow that belonged to my mother-in-law. I have cards that I have saved over the years. I have old pictures from all phases of my life. I have old quilts and baby clothes and toys. I have medals and rings and t-shirts. Each of of these items brings me to a place that makes me feel good.

But in the end, they all are just things. It's the memories they represent that comfort me. It's my grandmother's love, the finish of a race, and a college football game with a boyfriend. These are the treasures that bring a smile to my face and warm my heart.

I think everyone should have those things that bring back those times when they were loved the most and were the happiest. God gives us those memories for the times we feel lost or alone or sad.

As for me, I'll continue to drink my cranberry juice and smile. Here's to you, Nannie - thanks for the memories, but most of all, the love you poured into every glass.

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