God Said ...

It all started with Maribeth's kindergarten teacher. She suggested that since Maribeth and Brad were best friends, maybe I would like to meet his mom. I really didn't see it going anywhere. Her name was Kay. She was a working mom/nurse who was wearing a dress the first time we met, while I was in my usual stay-at-home mom uniform of maybe-clean, hole-in-the-knee blue jeans and t-shirt of the day. They lived in a nice new house they owned while we were living in a rental house with an orange door. Just because our children were best friends and both families were new in town, was that enough to start a friendship, considering how different we seemed?

God said, "Yes."

Our families lived on the same side of town, so ferrying kids back and forth between houses wasn't a chore. The only fly in the ointment was that Brad "got" to go to daycare after school (Maribeth's words) while she had to come straight home. Some days Brad came to our house and stayed for dinner. On those days Kay usually sent a can of vegetables to help with dinner. If Maribeth went to Brad's house, I was happy if she managed to get there relatively clean with shoes on. Brad's family ate healthy meals while my own was most content when dinner came out of a bag with a toy. How in the world could two moms that seemed so different become friends?

God said, "I know how."

As our children spent more time together, Kay and I got to know each other. On paper, we were very different. We didn't do things the same way; we didn't have the same work habits; we didn't have the same hobbies. We both had three kids and one husband. We both had the same Christian beliefs. Was that enough to build a friendship?

God said, "That's only the beginning."

We found that we connected in ways that weren't readily apparent. While we were both busy, we still enjoyed every moment we had together, however brief. We laughed and talked about life. We commiserated over difficulties, consulted over questions, and blew off that which didn't matter. We often sat in Kay's swing and solved all the world's problems (but not so much our own). We connected, but was that enough to sustain a friendship when things got more complicated?

God said, "Just wait and see."

When Maribeth and Brad moved to first grade, they were in different classes and developed new friends. Kay and I stayed in touch. A year later when I started graduate school and faced a myriad of obstacles, Kay helped me find solutions to many. When we moved to Nashville two years later, we had been friends for such a short time. Was this to be another friendship that would turn into a "was?"

God said, "No way."

Over the years, we have managed to stay in touch with a call, a card, eventually e-mail (we started before the internet), and visit. We've done lunch and dinner and the sit-and-chat. There's no regular schedule, and sometimes it's a long time in between. But it doesn't matter, because as soon as we get back in touch, it's as if we were together just yesterday. Life gets busy, and time passes before we know it, but when it's time, we manage to find each other again.

God said, "I told you."

Last week I was cleaning out a box of greeting cards that I had received in the past. Some were from my parent's funerals, some were from last year's 50th birthday campaign, and others were from various special occasions. As I was culling them out, every so often I would run across one from Kay. Some were past birthday cards and some were from when I was in graduate school. I tossed many of the other cards in the box, but I kept every one with Kay's name on it. Why? Because they represent something very special to me. They represent a friendship that is unique and miraculous.

God said, "I want you to have the best."

I've written about the gift of having a best friend. Last night I had dinner with Kay and there was a lot of talking, a lot of laughing, a lot of tears, and a lot of hugs. As I was driving home, I realized I know what real friendship is. It's 19 years of knowing someone cares about you even though you're miles apart, you don't see each other often, and you don't talk on a regular basis. It's knowing that person wants to know your joy and your pain so she can share it with you. It's having that person who doesn't have to know everything, just the parts that affect you. It's knowing that person is in your corner always, loves you simply because you're you, and will never leave because she's found her place beside you.

God said, "It's what you deserve."

There's no reason Kay and I became friends, or have stayed friends for this long except for this one thing - God wanted it to be so. He knew that I would need a special person to fill a certain part of my heart. He knew exactly who I would need, so he sent Kay. For this, I am eternally thankful.

And God said, "You're welcome."