... of Disney's Expedition Everest Challenge Race.
First of all, if the forecast calls for 85% chance of rain, believe it. Take a raincoat, or in tonight's case, a boat. Sure, the sprinkles are nice during the 5K when you're all sweaty because it's hot as blazes, but a few minutes later when you notice animals walking in twos, you're in trouble.
Second, there comes a point in time when even I know my limits. Attempting to hoist my overweight, overage body over some rain-soaked, slippery apparatus during the obstacle course of this race seemed like a really bad idea. So, instead of flirting with bodily harm, I walked around them. Nobody cared, because by that point, the rain was really starting to pour, and the officials were having difficulty seeing anyway.
Third, trying to figure out the scavenger hunt is extremely difficult when (a) your teammate for this race (and for life) has wisely chosen to bail, except that only he can read the minuscule print on the scavenger hunt pamphlet, and you can't read it because you didn't bring your readers (and your boots, raincoat, and umbrella), and (b) the blasted paper pamphlet is tearing to shreds in your hands because paper plus typhoon equals pulp. Also, just because somebody who already finished texted you the answers (before the typhoon hit), they aren't very useful if the clues are different. Again, middle-age wisdom rears its genius head because when you get back to Animal Kingdom, you decide that to heck (or use your own expletive) with the blasted scavenger hunt - you are going to get your medal no matter what.
Fourth, planning a post-race meeting spot with the other members of your carpool is essential - but choose it BEFORE the race begins. Along with paper, cell phones do not co-exist well with downpours from the sky. Plus, be sure that the members of your entourage are well acquainted with the layout of the park - otherwise Flame Tree Barbecue becomes Plain Tree Barbecue, which might as well be Corky's BBQ because SOME people have never heard of it anyway.
Fifth, hire a consultant to advise you about the race. Had we done this, we would have realized that if our two-person team had registered as two individuals, we could have started in the first wave with Molly, who entered as a single. This race had 13 waves - each started 5 minutes apart, which means we started 35 minutes AFTER Molly started. Which would have saved us 35 minutes of rain. And saved me 35 minutes of waiting in front of Flame Tree Barbecue, hoping that somebody's cell phone had enough left in it to make the connection.
Sixth, make sure that everyone is flexible - like if you're already finished and have your medal, you're willing to slap on the bailer's bib over yours, put your medal in your bra, and finish again so that everyone will get a medal. Teamwork counts in many different ways.
So, in conclusion, we had a lot of fun. At least that's the way I remember it!!
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Things that make today special: Cast member helping Steve with his Disney birthday celebration card; Larry at the Eagle Pines golf pro shop; Under Armour and Tumi surprises from Steve; Golden Arches at 10:30 pm; napping
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