Thursday, December 3, 2009

Helpful Advice For People Flying Southwest For The First Time

1. Fly Delta. You will get an assigned seat and not hold up the rest of us looking for seat C58. That is your boarding number.

2. Don't complain about getting a seat that reclines, then sit in a seat that has a sign on it that says, "This seat does not recline," and then complain loudly that you are upset that your seat does not recline.

3. Don't sit in an exit row, listen as the flight attendant explains your role in case of emergency, and then when he asks if you are willing, say you don't know and then carry on a conversation with your husband about, "I don't know if I want to do this. What did he say?", because your husband is going to get pretty ticked off at you and just say, "Say yes." Your behavior does not inspire confidence that you are going to help me get off a burning plane.

4. Sir - do not turn on the fan as we are taking off. I wondered why until I caught a whiff of your pre-flight meal. Turning on your fan may dissipate your stench from your seat, but all it did was send it back to my area. Gee thanks. Too bad etiquette wasn't covered in the emergency directions that your wife didn't listen to.

5. Yes, there is a screaming child a few rows back. But sir, you do not have the look of death, so turning around and staring is not going to stop the child. And yes, it is a screaming baby, in case you were confused.

6. The flight attendants are here to help you and keep you safe. So if they suggest that you stick your overloaded bag underneath the seat in front of you, please do it without an argument. You're going to lose. And when your wife tries to break out the window instead of lifting and shoving out the exit door, we certainly don't want her to trip!!
Things that make today great: Boot camp and airport drop off with Maribeth; safe, smooth ride; super great room at the Swan; watching fireworks from our window; new Christmas caps (pictures tomorrow)

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