Friday, January 29, 2010

Housewives of Wherever

Okay, so I admit it. I watch the Bravo series "Housewives of Orange County/Atlanta/New York/Mars/Crazytown." I keep watching hoping to find some way in which their housewife-life resembles mine. So far, it hasn't happened. So, I would like to list the major ways my life doesn't quite compare to any of these housewives. Maybe then I can figure out where I've gone off course.

1. Children - yes, I have some just as they do. However, mine are either in school or have jobs (or currently looking for one), unlike the children in this series who are: not working because they like to play poker online, not working/in school because they are launching their own perfume/jewelry/skin care line (of which they have no expertise/knowledge/business sense - or sense in general), or cussing their mothers out before going to the beach in their bikinis.

2. Parties - yes, I have been to parties. But I have not gone to the ones like these housewives where they get in loud shouting matches with other women and/or other husbands. I thought parties were supposed to be fun - silly me!

3. Husbands - yes, I have one of those, too. But my husband has a job and it is not: launching his own tequila business or some obscure "business" that he doesn't want to mention. Nor does he just get in the car with a briefcase and drive off. Maybe that's why our house is not in short-sale.

4. House - yes, I have one. But mine has actual pictures of my family in it, not bare walls. And I actually know where the rooms are and don't wander around looking for the bathroom. And I actually use my kitchen for more than pouring Cheerios.

5. Makeup - I wear it - I just don't pay $100 a bottle. And I don't need a makeup artist to come to my house to explain how to buy cheaper makeup. I just go to the cosmetic counter at Walgreen's.

6. Boobs - I have two that God gave me, not ones that Dr. Plastico put in again and again and again just because I wanted bigger ones.

So, I guess my life will never be like these women who call themselves housewives. Lucky me!!
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Things that make today great: Beach chair dude; spending the day on the beach; Cobb salad at Jerry's deli; race expo; lazing around in the hotel room

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