Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Reality TV and Me

Tonight I have been watching two "reality" television shows - "Dancing With The Stars" and "The Biggest Loser." Spoiler alert - Kate and Victoria go home. Both deserved it, in my opinion.

As I watch these shows, and read about other such shows, I think about which ones I would consider being a part of - or not. So, in case any casting directors might be reading, here's my list:

Dancing With The Stars - sure, I'll do it. But I don't think my mandatory ankle braces will go with the sparkly outfits.

The Biggest Loser - My ankle braces will go quite well with the workout clothes - but I'm not sure if I can wear makeup and work out in a sweatily way. And I'm not sure if I could take Jillian yelling at me.

The Real World - maybe when it actually becomes the "real world." Every season it seems that the most immature, idiotic, alcoholic young adults are recruited for this piece of crap show.

Survivor - Nope, no way, no how. Eating, sleeping, pooping in the nowhere/wherever is not for me.

19 Kids and Counting - I quit counting at 3. I know the Duggars are going to have as many kids as God gives them, but He gave me three, for which I am grateful. End of story.

House Hunters - We have purchased five houses in our married life. For most of them, we didn't care the color of the appliances, or whether it was an "open" plan, or if we had room for entertaining. All we cared about was if the bank would loan us some money. I especially don't think anyone would want to see how we decorated the house after we moved in, since we had no money for decorating once we bought the house.

The Apprentice - I don't want to be fired or deal with Donald Trump. If I'm going to be an apprentice, I want it to be for something useful, like plumbing or carpentry.

Real Housewives of Orange County/NYC/Atlanta/New Jersey - First of all, these are not housewives - they are witches who argue and snipe more than any adults I know. I got over that behavior in sixth grade. Now, if the show is about calling the plumber or rearranging the furniture or trying to cook dinner when all I have is a pound of hamburger and a bottle of ketchup, I'm in.

What Not To Wear - That would be everything in my closet. But if I am given a $5000 charge card for clothes, I'm headed to Old Navy and Target, not to buy a $500 blouse. I don't think Stacey and Clinton will be impressed. And I really don't think Carmody and HairDude will be able to do much for me. And I don't wear anything higher than a 1/4 inch heel on it. So maybe when they have a "Fine, Just Wear It," I'll be called.

Any cooking show - oh please - I'll have to figure out how to turn on a stove.

So maybe I won't be a reality television star. There's always the movies ...
Things that make today great: BSC with Lindley and Maribeth; getting stuff accomplished

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