Sticking It To The Mouse (or trying to anyway)

Last weekend while at Disney World, our group of seven used the Disney Dining Plan. This is a plan where you pay a standard amount a day in return for one table service (complete with table, menu, and waitress), one counter service (one register person and menu), and one snack (usually a Mickey Bar in my case).

There were a few complications, since people arrived at very different times of the day, and on different days. There were also a few who had never used (or heard of) the dining plan, so that presented a challenge. At one point, John tried to get breakfast at the bakery, and was told in very strong language by Bakery Nazi Cast Member LaFlema that he had no snacks left. In her words (and probably the only English she knows so far) she said, "NO SNACKY!! NO SNACKY!!"

At the end of the trip on Sunday, after the Mississippi and Texas contingents had left, Lynnette, Marilyn, and I were left with four counter services and one snack to eat - either physically or metaphorically, since you are not refunded for any unused meals. We took this as a challenge, and what follows was our plan of action. Names have been changed to protect the innocent, but mainly because I don't know or remember them.

1. I had read on a discussion board that some people had managed to trade one counter service for two snacks. We went into the resort's general store and asked Cast Member Clerk Marvin. He said we had to do it at guest services in the lobby.

2. Marilyn and Lynnette went to guest services (I took a bathroom break). They spoke with Guest Servicer Olga, who took a lot of time to tell them they had to go to the bakery. To get food to go. Which will be difficult since we were hours away from our flight and still stuffed from the table service meals we forced down at lunch. We reconvened at our bench outside to re-strategize.

3. I decided to call the dining people to get it straight from the head people. A series of transfers connected me with Victoria and Alberts, the fancy schmancy eating place at Disney where you get your own maid and butler. They know nothing about the dining plan, since their fine establishment will never be on it since you have to put a mortgage on your house to eat there anyway. Vic or Al (whichever one answered the phone) wanted to know if I wanted to make a reservation, but since I hadn't brought my ball gown, I said no thanks.

4. After another group discussion, we decided to return to the lobby and talk to the front desk people who are in a different tribe than the guest service people. I told Thelma and Louise to sit and be quiet in the lobby, since I didn't want to appear associated with them, since they wouldn't stop giggling. I approached the front desk to be stopped by Line Leader Cast Member Joe Bob, whose job is directing guests to the appropriate front desk person. I told him what I was after, and he proceeded to tell me all about the dining plan (which was very helpful, since I had already been eating on it for four days) and said I could go to the bakery and get the meals to go. I explained that it would not be helpful, since I was flying home and could not take the drinks past security. He looked perplexed and said he hadn't flown in awhile, and was that still in place. I went back to the gigglers, who were busy watching LLCM Joe Bob, as he was now talking to himself and fluttering his eyelids up and down.

5. Marilyn then decided to call the dining people herself from the lobby phone, right in front of LLCM Joe Bob. I guess she figured he couldn't hear her, since he was busy talking to himself again. She waited on hold again (Vic and Al don't have call waiting, I guess), then gave up (or talked to someone useless again). She called again, and decided to talk in Spanish (as if the dining plan can be changed if you can speak another language). The espanol people were very helpful in telling her how to make dining reservations - not so helpful with the change from counter to snack, unless she wanted to go to the bakery and get some stuff to go.

6. I think there was another step here. I don't know if Lynnette decided to call. Maybe LLCM Joe Bob started to levitate. Maybe we called Berlitz to see if we could quickly learn a new language to use to call dining. Anyhow, time passed. Somewhere we got some information that the plan could be changed at the discretion of the general store manager.

7. So we decided to go back to the general store and try to talk to a cast member down there. We believe in anarchy in the ranks. We went to the clothing department, hoping for a novice who would think we looked menacing and cater to our wishes. We started with Cast Member Clothing Folder Melissa, who apparently was hired because she could listen and fold at the same time. After our repeating our request and her repeating it back (she went to active listening lessons), she went for the store manager. Store Manager Peggy came out, listened to our pathetic story, then said we have to go to guest services. We told her been there, done that, and they said they couldn't do it. She said, "That's baloney," (really, that's verbatim) and went to use the phone. Apparently Peggy will now lose her retirement, because she came back and said there would be no changing, because that kind of thing is only done at the value resorts and not at the deluxe resort where we were staying.

At this point we had to admit we were beaten. We went to the bakery and came out with six drinks and six muffins. Luckily Marilyn was staying an extra few days, so she would be able to keep them for consumption later.

So, the question remains - will I use the dining plan again? Yes, because I continue to believe I get more for my money that way. I simply look at the menu and order the most expensive thing on it. I believe in every "deal" that Disney throws my way. Why else would I come home with not one, but two rolly bags (only $20 with a qualifying purchase)? I am a bargainer - just ask my Disney Visa!