Monday, December 15, 2008

Why I Hate Oreos

Yesterday while I was at the grocery store, I decided to pick up some snacks for Steve. Going down the cookie aisle, I pulled his favorites - Chips Ahoy and Oreos. These are cookies that pose no threat to me, because I don't really like them. I even made a point to pull the Double-Stuff Oreos, because those are the ones Steve prefers.

Imagine my surprise when I got home and started putting away the groceries, when I discovered that the Oreos I pulled were double stuff, alright, but they were DOUBLE STUFFED PEANUT BUTTER OREOS!!!

Needless to say, when peanut butter and chocolate choose to cohabit in the same bite, it has my name written all over it. I tried them, and (as Maribeth pointed out quite disgustedly) a empty center section later, I was hooked. I confessed my transgressions to Maribeth, who put me out of my misery and tossed them in the trash (after squirting lemon juice in the package).

I could not afford to save them, since neither Steve nor Maribeth was interested in consuming them. The likelihood of the cookies remaining intact until a willing consumer entered my kitchen was slim, because until that moment happened, the evil cookies would sit and call my name until I did indeed suck them all down. And yes, I looked carefully at every ingredient listed, and could find nothing that even remotely was suggestive of a macrobiotic ingredient.

So the war continues. Just when I thought I had bested Little Debbie and her wretched Christmas Tree Cakes (okay, so I've consumed a few this holiday season), here comes Oreos. The cookie industry is out to get me, and Oreo now has my number!

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