Dear Avis,
Thanks so much for a totally awesome end to our cruise –
NOT! In case you weren’t aware (and I’m
sure you aren’t because you aren't answering your phone), here’s what happened:
A few weeks ago, we found an awesome deal on your
website. For only $38-ish, we could rent
a car and drive back from our cruise, which represented a huge savings on three
airfares (which we probably spent on various sundries while on the
cruise). Anyhow, since we were going to
spend that night at Disney World (isn’t that the way to end every cruise?), we
would also then have transportation in case some outlet mall shopping was
needed. We went ahead and procured (or
so we thought) a mini-van, thus insuring a comfy ride back to Nashville with
plenty of space for luggage and anything else we decided to bring back with us.
So, Saturday morning we disembarked our cruise ship with our bags and headed
to the Avis shuttle stop. Only there was
no shuttle. Budget and Herts and Bubba’s
Rent-A-Wreck shuttles were there, but no Avis.
We were sort of in a time crunch, because we wanted to get to our resort
before the rest of our cruise party, since Anne had sprained her ankle riding a
bike on Castaway Cay and we wanted to make check-in as quick and painless as
possible. But I digress – let me get on
with my story.
After a phone call to your local office, soon the shuttle
arrived, with Consuelo driving. First of
all, please direct her to drive all the way to the end of the shuttle parking
lot – it would save a few steps from having to lug our heavily-laden-with-Disney-cruisecrap
suitcases to the road and back when she decides to move the van. Second, please do not ask her to work on her
religious holiday. I assume it was her
religious holiday as she seemed to be praying every time she lifted a bag (I
assumed that was why she was calling out our Saviour’s name every time she
hoisted a bag – was this the first time she did the cruise route – did she not
know the added loads of returning cruisers?).
Anyhow, once she had herded all of us and our bags onto her
shuttle, we were off to the Avis station.
We had a second religious service as she unloaded our bags. One of her co-workers came out and told her
she could go back to her regular route, and she quickly sped off to what I can
only assume is picking up lunch for the guys back at the office.
So, Molly and I were sitting with our six suitcases (we
volunteered to bring back unneeded luggage for those members of our party who had
enough to handle with a two-year-old, much less three tons of luggage). And here’s where the fun began.
Steve came out with the paperwork for our rental. We say, “Which van?” He says, “The white one.” We say, “Oh, this one right next to us?” He says, “No, that one over there.”
And there it was. Was
it a mini-van? No. Was it an SUV? No.
Was it a Jeep? No. What was it?
A 15-PASSENGER VAN!!!!!
At first, Molly and I thought he was joking. Then he said that the Avis guy said there were no mini vans headed back to Nashville. But had Avis called/emailed/texted/tweeted us about it? No!! Did they offer anything other than the church van? No! But reality sunk in when he clicked the remote lock thingy,
the headlights flickered, and Molly and I went into shock. Had we not been in shock, we would have
marched right back into your office and pitched a Grade A Southern Girl Hissy
Fit, but instead we just loaded all the bags into the back of the van, which
was a pain because apparently the back-back-back seat will not fold down.
So off we went to Orlando, Tigger-ing it all the way (in case
you were not aware, riding in a 15-passenger van with only 3 people means the shocks
go bouncy, bouncy, bouncy). Adding
insult to injury, the console kept telling us that we needed an oil change
soon.
We finally got to the resort and got half-way checked in
(the studio was ready, the 3-bedroom was not) and got everybody situated. By that time, the gravity of our situation
was sinking in, mainly that we were going to have a lovely ride back to
Nashville, not in the car you promised and we contracted for, but in a van that
you want taken back up North. Can you
say bait and switch?
Molly decided to call your 800 number. She spoke to someone, and after explaining
our situation, she was told to call the local branch where we rented from – 50
miles away. Still being nice, she did –
but nobody answers the phone and it switched back to the 800 number. So, Molly hung up and called again – three
more times, each time the phone switching back to the 800 number. On the fourth call, Molly just lets the 800
number answer it, and she explains the whole situation again, including the
fact that Avis Port Canaveral will not answer the phone. She finally asked, “Is there anybody there who
can help me?” And the answer is –
No! Molly promptly replies with her
version of “Go jump in the lake.” to which your phone person said, “Thank you
for calling Avis.”
Later in the day, Steve and Molly decide to visit the
Orlando Avis branch, who also are unable/incapable/unwilling to help. So we are left with our huge van to relocate for
you back to Nashville. We considered
putting a sign on the van that said, “Davidson Singing Trio” in hopes of
raising funds for the gas, but want to get home as soon as possible.
Avis, your slogan says, “We try
harder.” My final question for you is
this – “When?”
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Today's blessings: Bay Lake Tower rooms; watching the fireworks at the top of BLT; Olive Garden takeout with the cruisers
