Thursday, February 4, 2010

This Is My Jury Duty

Today I did not finish up my jury duty job. The hope is that we will finish tomorrow. I thought I would give you an idea as to what I've been going through all week. Now, I am not (a) racial profiling - the people below most resemble the principle players, (b) suggesting one person is more at fault than the other because of whom I think they resemble, or (c) telling trial secrets. I just want you to experience my fun!!

Now, for the generalities of the trial. Basically, the principal players are as follows:

The Plaintiff, Omar Shariff, and his attorney, Mr. Haney. The Defendants, Slumdog Millionaire and Sadaam, and their attorneys, a grownup Beaver Cleaver and Desperate Housewives Dude. There is also Judge Sully and the interpreter, Monk.

Basically, Omar, Slumdog, and Sadaam are having a tiff. They have lots of friends to come in and testify on their behalf, most of whom need Monk to translate. Sadaam also needs Monk, and likes to answer "yes or no" questions by making long speeches - which is twice as long when Monk translates back and forth.

Mr. Haney can't remember dates or names or what all the papers are on his desk. He spends a lot of time rifling through his papers and this mispronouncing names (okay - I'll give him that one). But he also forgot that Christmas is in December, not November. And he also gets a little confused as to what testimony was said. But that's okay because his main argument is to introduce a lot of information, most of which has nothing to do with Omar's case. I think today he read from "War and Peace" and then passed out several years of financial papers that I believe were either the (a) national budget, or (b) his own personal income tax returns that he misplaced. When things got really dull, he asked the same questions he asked two hours earlier that were asked yesterday by both he and Beaver Cleaver.

Beaver Cleaver is happy to sit in his chair and play on his Blackberry, although it is unclear as to whether he is playing Tetris, texting his wife for dinner plans, or updating his facebook status. Every now and then he objects to something Mr. Haney said. Since no one is listening to Mr. Haney at this point, there's no credence to his objection, but at least it wakes everyone up. Meanwhile, his protege, Desperate Housewives Dude, is just trying to stay focused. I think he is focused on the courtroom clock, since it is directly across from his position.

Judge Sully keeps it all under control, dismisses us for recess and lunch, and has promised that we will be done tomorrow afternoon. Landing in the Hudson is a piece of cake compared to taking charge of this trial!!

Things that make today great: My fellow jurors; lunch and Starbucks with Mary

1 comment:

Marilyn said...

Mr. Haney, hadn't thought of him in ages. Didn't he graduate from Oktibbehea County School of law?