Sunday, July 11, 2010

Blowing the Diet

Apparently I am getting quite good at this. So, in case your diet is working and you are sticking to it, here are some tips so you can wallow in failure like me:

How To Justify Blowing Your Diet

1. Go out of town with your daughter and eat at a place that serves comfort food cooked just the right way - full of fat and calories and deliciousness. And sit by a statue with a penis so you can emotionally eat everything on your plate.

2. Go to stores that are not in your town that serve big cinnamon rolls that are really delicious that you don't normally eat and shop for hours in this store with your daughter, thereby justifying the eating of the aforementioned cinnamon rolls that are jam-packed with sugar and loads of calories.

3. Eat the remainder of the sack of M&Ms that were left in the console of the car, because your daughter is passed out from cold meds because she has a cold and you are driving nonstop from your shopping trip and need to stay awake so that you can get home and get the sickly one in bed.

4. Eat the eggs and sausage and waffles and English muffin and bagel with cream cheese from the hotel's breakfast buffet because it was free with your night's lodging, thereby insuring that you got your money's worth.

5. Upon depositing sniffling, sneezing and coughing daughter at her house and husband offers to pick up dinner at Sonic, order more greasy, fried food because you will probably get sick from germ-ridden daughter and need more body fat to live off of during your incubation.

6. After spending Friday and Saturday practicing the above-mentioned tactics, repeat with gusto on Sunday. After all, everyone knows Monday is the day diets begin! Or at least start over!
Things that make today great: visiting with Lindley, Sam, and Lynnette; dinner from Demos; lunch with Molly at Sonic; moving furniture around at the house


Marilyn said...

your blog always makes me feel so much better and not alone.

Luanne said...

Thanks! I always hope that by putting stuff out there, we will find that the things that make us feel alone are actually the things that bind us together.