Monday, December 6, 2010

Lesson Learned - I Hope

After two weeks of doing little more than sitting on my rather ample haunches and eating bonbons, I returned to butt camp today. To put it simply, it was not pretty. I could not jog, I could not lift, I could not sit up. In fact, I was pretty pleased that at the end of the session, I could still breath and keep my heart beating.

There is always a week off in-between butt camp sessions. Commander Josh gives us a "do it yourself" maintenance workout that we're supposed to do during the off week. So far, my participation has been to print the workout and place it on top of the printer. Ergo, the maintenance workout has not proved beneficial.

So, during my most recent two-week hiatus, I had passing thoughts of working out. I considered jogging and crunching and lifting and stuff like that. I considered all this even though I was on vacation in Florida. But I had difficulty with the follow-through. The only muscles I worked were the ones in my jaws, furiously chewing through the cotton candy, the cookies, the pizza, and anything else made of sugar and other flab-inducing ingredients.

And then we get to today. Since I often venture into the Land of De Nial, I thought I would just breeze back into butt camp and pick up where I left off. I don't know where I left off, but it was no where close to where I ended up today. The resistance bands were very resistant, the crunches were very crunchy, and the sit-ups were more like lay-downs. To put it mildly, any kind of shape I was ever in has been banished to the nether regions.

So what have we learned from today's butt camp debacle? First, that chewing is not an aerobic activity designed to keep one in shape. Especially since I could find it nowhere on Joshy's workout sheet.

Second, like me, muscles look for any chance to lay around and become inert. However, to further my butt camp career, this is not a wise avenue to follow. Instead, I should lift and resist and heave - something a little more substantial than a spoon and fork.

Third, thou gettest what thou sowest. In other words, doing nothing gets you nothing. No speedy jogs, no heavy weight lifting, no extreme number of leg lifts (for me that is anything more than five). So, thou must move thy butt in order to not passeth out upon return to butt camp.

Today was a "hello wimpy" call. I got the message - it certainly got my number!
Today's blessings: Back to butt camp (ouch); car emissions testing and tag update; getting cable boxes; Bucky's peppermint mocha frap; picking up Lindley from day care and taking her home; grocery shopping with Maribeth

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