Sunday, December 5, 2010

Massage Issues

Today Molly and I went to Massage Envy so that we can get caught up with our prepaid massages. All went well, and I think I left with fewer knots in my neck. I'm always glad I went, since it is quite relaxing. However, it is not completely without a few stresses, which I thought I would share with you - just in case they are your stresses, and might keep you from experiencing the peace and tranquility from having a stranger knead and pound on your nekkid body.

The Clothing Issue - will I get my clothes off and my body under the covers before dude (or dudette) comes in? How does he/she know when I'm done anyway? And did I get my raggedy undies covered up with my regular clothes so dude won't see how really big my granny panties are?

The Most Recent Meal Issue - Did the beans fully digest and therefore divest themselves of their odorous abilities? Ohmigosh - are those my intestines he/she is kneading? Ohmigosh - is that a gas bubble? Are these sheets capable of masking the possibly inevitable?

The Masseuse's Brain Issue - What is he/she really thinking? Is he attempting to locate a knotted muscle through the the mounds of fleshy fat? Is she wondering if the table will support a woman of my size? Is he just making this up as he goes?

The Sleep Issue - Did I fall asleep? Did I snore? Did I drool? Did he/she say something while I was asleep? Can I go back to sleep now?

By the end of the hour, my issues (along with my tight muscles) are all worked out. I don't care if I've fallen asleep, or my underdrawers have fallen on the floor, or the beans have done their magic. I'm rested and refreshed and ready for a new week.

Now if I can just figure out my issue with how much/how/when to tip the dude ...
Today's blessings: BK breakfast with Sam, Lindley, and Molly; spending the day with Lindley; an hour with Jason at Massage Envy; taking Steve to the airport

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