Friday, January 3, 2014

Just Call Me Wal-Marta

I admit it - I'm a Wal-Mart girl.  Especially since one moved in a mile away.  There are some members of my immediate family that do not go to Wal-Mart - for one reason or another.  But I go - and sometimes I think it's just for the entertainment.

So to educate you who may not know the virtues of Wal-Mart (and yet are very aware of the failings of Wal-Mart), here are my Top Five Reasons I Wal-Mart (and yes, Wal-Mart can be used as a verb).

1.  No tie required.  In other words, it's really come as you are.  I'm sure you've seen (or should see) "People of Wal-Mart."  And no, to my knowledge I have not been showcased on that website.  Yet.  I like to go to Wal-Mart because usually it means I just need to find shoes and my wallet.  Which means I can go in the "grass-cuttin'" clothes, my three-day pajama bottoms, or just about whatever I happen to have on at the time.  Because there's probably somebody there who is dressed more ridiculously that I. 

2.  It's no big deal if you forget your shopping list.  Because you will probably leave with a buggy full of stuff that you had no idea you needed.  So if you come in for laundry soap, you will probably find at least three things on that aisle that you've never known existed and now fully realize that your life cannot continue unless you have those items.

3.  You might get welcomed like a prodigal Wal-Marter.  That is, if your Wal-Mart has a greeter who knows what he/she is doing.  There's nothing like being greeted as though the store has been waiting for your attendance all day.  Because the greeter is so excited to see you and will help you get a cart and ask if you need any assistance.   

4.  You never know you/what you might encounter.  For instance, last night I was in the cosmetic aisle when these two dudes asked me a question.  Dude 1 says, "Ma'am, what would you use to cover up stuff on your face?"  I directed him and his buddy to the concealer area and then walked over there to further my browsing as they were trying to decide on a concealer color.  Dude 1 continued as he said, "Look at his face and he's got to go to work tomorrow."  Dude 2's face clearly had gotten the nasty end of a door - or somebody's fist. 

5.  If you get there early enough, you will get a pep talk for the day.  That is, if you are in the general aisle/vicinity for the morning store staff pep talk.  There are encouraging words and positive talk and it ends with a cheer.  Seriously.  Makes you want to go out and sell something.  Or at least use a price gun.

So there you have it.  My name is Luanne and I shop at Wal-Mart.  Usually in my grubby clothes because I need something at that very minute that I had to run out and get instead of taking a shower and putting on clean clothes.  And while I was there I found 37 other things that I didn't even know I needed so I bought them.  Because that's the way you Wal-Mart!
Today was a great day because:  Lindley spent the night and the day; Everley and Lindley time; Michael and his friend David visiting; picking up Lynnette at the airport; Molly stopping by with treats and a drink

1 comment:

Kat said...

I went to Walmart tonight in my PJs, to buy a water bottle for the guinea pigs. Came out with $62 in Rubbermaid containers so I can reorganize my pantry tomorrow. And a box of decaf K-cups. I can't be trusted in there alone.