To all of you who may be wondering if we sent you a Christmas card this year - let me set your mind at ease so you will quit eagerly waiting for the postman to deliver it. In other words, we didn't send a card this year. I considered it - I even thought about getting a photo during Doikmas when we were all together. But since I got zero pictures that night, period, there would be no happy family photo, either. So no photo Christmas card.
But just in case you were still wondering why you have no Christmas card from me this year, here are my top
1. I have yet to lose the 350 pounds needed for a decent photo. Because photos (or is it television) adds 10 pounds to a person. And I certainly do not have 10 pounds to play with. Ergo, no photo unless there are many people around me. Possibly blocking me out. And as I said above, on Doikmas, that opportunity was lost.
2. Although I'm sure that I, along with my various family members, have done many things this year, I probably don't remember most of them. And if you are my friends (and read this), you already know what these accomplishments are/were, so who wants to read old news? And if you are one who reads this, then you know how prompt I rarely am, so the chances of my getting out a Christmas newsletter anytime close to Christmas are slim.
3. Addresses. Yes, I have your address. That is, if you have written me in the last several years. And have not moved. If you have and not given me your forwarding address, then there's another big issue there. Clearly this whole address thing is just one big stressful soap opera that I just don't need right now. Besides, I'm not sure where that ding-dong address book is anyway ...
4. Choosing a Christmas card. So if the family photo Christmas card is out, then there's the whole dilemma of choosing a Christmas card. Yes, I really do like you, but I am not subsidizing Hallmark and purchasing an individual card for each of you. Therefore I have to decide among a cutesy theme, a religious theme, a cutesy/religious theme, a holiday theme - clearly too big of a decision for me to make.
5. Stamps. Well, actually I have these. Only because Steve apparently found a good deal on poinsettia stamps and bought about a million of them. So I guess the few bills that I pay via USPS will get a dose of Christmas all year ...
6. Time. So let's say I found some acceptable cards. And the missing address book. And got them and a working pen and the stamps all in the same place at the same time. Talk about your Christmas miracles! Let's even say that I managed to compose a Christmas newsletter. It's going to take a lot of time to assemble all that plus write a personal note in each card (like, I'm so glad you like the check I wrote for the car insurance). And even though sucking up all this time would give me an excellent reason for not blogging, it's just not going to happen. Because I need to train for a race (or maybe start training). And I need to cook so I can start eating sensibly (as soon as I figure out how to use the oven). So in other words, I am just slap out of time for this.
I would have come up with four more reasons, but if you've made it this far, I think you've got the message. I knew I should have gone to that after-Christmas sale last year!!
Today is a gift because: quiet day watching trash tv; Molly's chicken 'n dumplins for dinner; Everley time;