Perspective

Earlier this month, in the space of 10 days, I complete two 5Ks (3.1 miles each), two 10Ks (6.2 miles each) and two half marathons (13.1 miles each). According to my trusty Unisonic XL-1110 calculator (don't be a hater - this was high-tech in the 80s!), that's a total of 44.8 miles. And the totally amazing thing (at least to me) is that I improved on my time in the 10K and half marathon from one weekend to the next. I managed to finish, upright, without medical assistance, and was not last. Well, not dead last ... And therein lies the problem - Why am I belittling my efforts?


Why do I try to put down my accomplishments in these races? Why do I use phrases like "fat, slow, out of shape, old lady"? Why do I state the obvious that while I was not last, I might not have been far from it? Why do I emphasize the negative instead of the positive? Why is the fact that I may be slower than most more important than the fact that I've done 44.8 miles more than most who haven't done anything?

Maybe it's because I wish I were faster and in better shape. Maybe it's because some runners resent us "back of the packers" because they deem us inferior to their superior skills even though our efforts have little impact on their performance (at least according to us - to hear some of them talk, we have a rope tied around their waists and are holding them back). Maybe it's because I know I can do better. Maybe it's because I don't want to get laughed at.

I don't know, but I do know it's time to appreciate myself and my efforts. It's not that I very slowly did 44.8 miles in two weeks - it's that I did them at all. Hooray for me!!

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Thankful today for: no big snowstorm; taking Steve to the airport; beginning my "Downton Abbey" marathon