And That's The Way I Roll ...

If there's an easier way to do something, I'm pretty much going to do it the most difficult and convoluted way possible.  Here's today's example ...

As I was sorting the clothes in the laundry room, I noticed that the floor was a bit tacky and the room was a bit warm.  I also noticed that there was a whole lot of lint material stuck to the cabinet by the dryer.  I pondered these facts for a bit and proceeded to investigate this phenomena.  As you might have been able to surmise by now, my dryer vent hose had a split in it, thus spewing hot air and lint into my laundry room (yes, with these highly honed investigative skills, I should have been a detective).  Obviously my next step would be to replace the defective hose.

The first step was to get a replacement hose.  Being easily swayed by appliance delivery people and appliance repair people, I remembered one of this group of professionals once telling me that I needed the super-duper special metal hose pipe, as the usual curly/Reynolds wrap type hose would probably set my house on fire whether the dryer was actually in use or not.  And never mind that is the kind of dryer hose that I have on my current dryer (and probably every dryer in history).  Anyhow, I convince myself that I will put on the super-duper hose.  Just as soon as I purchase one.

I head off to Wal Mart, where all things are purchased.  It is a small Wal Mart and it took me awhile to find the dryer hose department (which is actually three boxes of hoses on a top shelf).  Unfortunately it is not the super hose I am searching for, but the regular type.  Rather than go ahead and get one anyway, I decide to leave the store and instead head down the street to the upscale shopping mecca of Home Depot.  I find the hose that I desire and head for the checkout lane.  With my newly paid-for hose in hand, I get in my car and head home, after a chat with my pal Emily in the parking lot (whom I haven't seen in ages).  It started to rain and we both headed to our respective homes and home projects.

Now comes the fun part.  First I should describe my laundry room.  Basically it's the size of an old-timey (think 50s) back porch that was enclosed back in the 70s.  In other words, it's roomy but not spacious.  In this room I have a front-loading washing and dryer (not stacked), a big hot water heater, and two-door cabinet next to the washer that has a counter but the inside houses the litter box, and a small one-door cabinet next to the dryer.  The hot water heater is in the corner and the dryer is to the right and the washer is to the left.  There is still enough room for three laundry sorting bins and for me to turn around to load and unload the machines.  Oh, and did I mention that the dryer hose snakes through the little cabinet to the outside part?

So I get out the new hose pipe and get to work.  The first problem is getting behind the dryer to attend to the desired location.  To do this, I have to maneuver the dryer out.  But the washer is large and I have to maneuver it so that there's room for the dryer.  But the sorting bins are sort of in the way.  And when I eventually get the washer moved and the bins moved and the dryer moved, there's no room for my fat fanny to get from behind the dryer to go anywhere.  And because I am a boot camp dropout, I have no upper body strength to booth my bodacious butt over the tops of the machines.

Nevertheless, somehow I get behind the dryer and take off the offending hose, noticing the gash in the hose that was spewing the hot air and lint into the laundry room.  I also had to empty out the small cabinet to unhook the hose from the outside housing, when I notice another gash spewed lint all over the beach towels that are housed there (thank you for the now-extra load of laundry).  I unhook the hose, put the linty towels in the appropriate dirty clothes bin and begin the task of hooking up the new hose.  Which is made of firm steel or aluminum or some other metal - it doesn't matter which because it doesn't want to bend like I would prefer.  Instead it prefers to cut my fingers.

Nevertheless, I continue to try to bend and pull and adjust the pipe - while I have my broad shoulders shoved into the tiny cabinet (which is shrinking by the minute).  The pipe doesn't bend or fit around the outside housing.  I bend and pound the push and prod, but nothing happens.  Except for the cutting of my appendages.  I come out of the cabinet periodically for fresh air and return to this futile operation.

Finally I admit defeat and somehow shimmy out of my hole and return to Wal Mart.  I have on my lint-covered pants, my hair in wild disarray, and scratched up hands - clearly I belong at Wal Mart.  Anyhow, I buy the hose that I should have bought two hours ago and return home to start over.

Basically in the next 15 minutes I have the fire-causing hose attached, all machines back in their places, all the lint cleaned up, the bins returned to their positions, and the first loads of laundry in their cycles.  All is right with the world. 

At least as long as I have the fire extinguisher handy ...

********************************************************************************

Today was a great day because:  I managed to get Everley and Lindley to school even though I left both in tears and I had to return to home and then school to get Lindley some different shoes because her new sandals hurt and Everley just kept saying she wanted to go to LaLas house; I got the dryer hose changed eventually; I got to see Emily and chat a bit

Slarty at LaLa's

Lindley's parents are out of town, so she was going to spend tonight with me.  Since there are some days I take Everley to school this week, I offered to let her spend the night, too.  Since Steve is out of town, the whole slarty (slumber party) seemed a no-brainer.

We started the party with my picking them both up from school.  Of course I had snacks for them in the car.  We came home and promptly used the foam out of their chairs (so I could wash the covers) to make forts and cars and things for jumping on and off.  Then we jumped in the trampoline for awhile.  Then LaLa made mac and cheese for dinner, along with leftover cornbread, applesauce, grapes, and whatever else they could find.

Next it was time for baths, which they both love, so that took up some time (since they're both bigger, I don't have to stand lifeguard every second - I actually get the opportunity to run to the washing machine to throw in a load).  After almost an hour, they consented to get out, mostly because Maribeth had come over to visit.

After putting on pjs (actually nightgowns), everyone got in my bed to watch "Monsters U" and hopefully fall asleep.  Which they did.  Guess my turn is next.  Now all I have to do is figure out what to fix for breakfast ...

Oh, and I got my suitcase unpacked today!!  At least the big one ...

****************************************************************************

Today was a great day because: picking up L and E at school and chatting with Ms Lui; unpacking my suitcase; running a few errands; Steve's safe travel to Boston and Sam and Lynnette's safe travel to Orlando; slarty with the girls

Post-Travel Day

• Suitcase - still packed.
• Got up to take Everley to her first day of her new school, which is also Lindley's school, which makes pickup for both super-easy now.  Decided to cook crock-pot beef for dinner for family.  Also decided that since I had to pick up Everley, I would also pick up Lindley.
• Ate too much of the chocolate treats that I didn't eat on the ship and instead brought them home.  And now have promptly eaten most of them.  Should have eaten them on the ship.
• Got a trenta passion tea lemonade from Starbucks.  Had to.  Delicious.  Especially since I requested light ice and I had plenty to last more than five minutes.
• Suitcase still packed.
• Weighed in at Fleet Feet for community weight loss thingy.  Not as bad as I expected, but bad nevertheless.  Went home and ate more chocolate.
• Picked up girls at school.  Happy times since it was a surprise for Lindley, whom I haven't seen in over two weeks.  Came home and finished dinner.  Maribeth, Molly, and Lynnette came over.  Ate dinner.
• Put L and E in bathtub (their choice).  Got them and their hair washed and found acceptable clothing (after Lindley eschewed Maribeth's choices and found clothing more to her liking). 
• Eventually everyone went back to their respective houses.  I cleaned up kitchen and watched shows I apparently recorded in my absence.
• Suitcase still packed - have to save something for tomorrow!!

*************************************************************************

Today was a great day because:  taking E to new school; picking up L and E from school; having dinner actually planned and cooked

Travel Day

One of the not-so-fun things about leaving Vancouver is the flight arrangement back home.  Basically, the earliest flight we can make is at 2pm.  And you can't check in at the airport until three hours before your flight, so you get to spend a lot of time sitting in the main lobby of the Vancouver airport.  It isn't so bad because it's big and roomy and has a lot of chairs.  But it marks the beginning of a long travel day.  Here's how ours went:

*We left our cabins for the last time this morning at 8am.  We had already had breakfast at the buffet, so we were ready to go, not to mention that Disney Cruise wants everyone out so they can clean the rooms for the next inhabitants.  From there we went to a lounge to wait for our luggage tag to be called.  Every passenger was given luggage tags to put on their luggage the night before (and put out in the hall).  We were purple Minnies.  Everyone waits.  And waits.  Luckily ours was the third luggage tag to be called (an hour and a half later).  Once we got into the luggage retrieval room, we understood why it took so long.

*Basically, there's about 60 trillion pieces of luggage in this one room.  Add to that the 60 billion overfed tired travelers in the room, looking for their luggage.  Along with their strollers and small children, none of whom stay together in a group (I directed Maribeth and Everley and stroller to stay THERE and we would get to them).  So you have all these people milling over all this luggage looking for their bags.  Add the sound effects of unhappy people and crying people, and you might understand the craziness.  They can't call more than one luggage tag at a time because that's all the luggage this one room can handle.

*The last time Molly, Charity, and I did this, we stood in a taxi line forever.  Hoping to forgo this, I decided that getting a porter would speed things up (and get us in a quicker taxi line).  The only problem is that there are only four porters.  For a gazillion people and their luggage.  So Steve and Mathieu and I got the little wheelie carts (free in port) and loaded up our luggage.  And then headed to the long taxi line.  But then we saw Porter #3 with an empty cart, and nabbed him to take all the luggage (about eight bags - half of them BIG bags).  He did take us to a shorter customs line and manhandled his way to a short taxi line.  SCORE!!

*Apparently in Vancouver, the cabs can only hold four people.  Which means we needed two cabs.  Which Porter #3 got us.  Once we got the bags distributed (we were going to check two of Maribeth/Matheiu/Everley's bags because we would get them checked free) we were off to the airport.  Which didn't take too long, and then settled down for our wait for the counters to open.

*Eventually the counters opened, and we got in line to check in.  Steve is an AA fancy pants, so we got in the fancy pants line (since I was on his reservation, I could get in line with him even though I am lowly scum).  He has requested (I don't know exactly the AA Fancy Pants lingo) to get upgraded and he got the email that he could, but when we got to Judy the AA Ticket Lady, things got a bit complicated.  Apparently he needed to more stars to get upgraded because he had four but would need six to do the entire trip from Vancouver to Nashville (with a stop in Dallas).  He said fine and then he was set.  Then they couldn't do the upgrade for me, because I had no stars.  So he bought some more stars, but then the stars were put on his account not mine so they had to be taken off his account and put on mine and his credit card had to be refunded and then charged again.  It was complicated and time consuming and irritating to the lowly scum who were waiting in line behind us.

*Eventually it all got worked out and Steve and I were upgraded to Business Class (more on that later).  Meanwhile, Maribeth and family were over at United checking in (yes we were on different airlines so that Steve could use his frequent flyer miles for us.  MB and Co would get in earlier to Nashville than we would, though). 

*In Vancouver, you have to show your boarding pass and/or passport about sixty-eleven times.  First, to get your boarding pass.  Next to get pass the gate agent.  Next to check your bag (once you get through the gate agent you have to haul it to a different location to get it to the plane). At each point they're checking to make sure you're you and you have the number of bags you said you did.  There's a lot of scanning going on.  We had the free rolling carts, so it wasn't too big of a deal and we eventually got the four bags into their checked location. 

*Next stop was security.  There was no TSA Pre line - at least as far as I could see.  We made it to the actually scanning part, where you show your boarding pass/passport to the screening lady who lets  you proceed to the xray thingy. 

*Next stop is USA Customs.  That's right - you get to the USA while you're still in Canada.  You scan in your passport in the little machine and it takes your picture and shoots out a receipt.  Steve's receipt had a big X through it, which meant we had to go through the Customs Dude With A Big Desk.  Apparently, he thought Steve looked okay, so in a matter of minutes (and after a couple of hours) we were actually in the airplane part of the airport.

*This part of the Vancouver airport is very long and large.  Our gate was twenty miles (give or take) down the path.  Past lots of shops and restaurants and stuff.  At our gate area there was a small playground.  About 9000 kids where there playing, and I think they were all just off the Disney Wonder.  At one point, some 10 year old boy slid down the slide right into a toddler girl, whose father had a conniption fit, screaming, "WHOSE KID IS THIS?"  So much for the Disney magic ...  Eventually the rest of my crew arrived, and Everley had fun playing (with no 10 year old boy collision drama).

*Soon it was time to board our respective planes, which took off pretty much at the same time.  Maribeth and Co were going through Chicago with a short layover while Steve and I were going through Dallas with a longer layover.  As I said, Steve got us upgraded to Business Class, which I've only done maybe once in my life (mystery upgrade with MB and Molly on our flight back from London many years ago).  Anyhow, that meant we got to board quickly.

*Things about Business Class:  since I usually fly Southwest where we are all one class, I didn't know what to do with the leg room.  I mean, usually my knees are right up against the seat in front.  With BC, my legs were all just flopping around.  Also, apparently we get our own flight attendant, who although she appeared to be about 80 years old, was still very agile about bringing us hot towels and lots of food.  Speaking of food, it started with a drink (of whatever she had in the BC frig - alcohol and all) and the bowls of hot nuts, which were about 100 times the number of peanuts I get in my SW bag-o-nuts.  Since they were free and hot and Steve didn't want his, I ate almost all of both bowls of nuts.  And then promptly decided I would never eat another nut again, hot or cold.  Grandma brought me another cran-apple, then it was lunch time (what?  but I already ate lunch in the airport.  what?  it's included in the price of BC?  bring it on, grandma!!).  I had the salad with chicken on the top in a bowl that would probably serve my whole family while Steve had a cheeseburger.  Then it was time for the warm chocolate chip cookies (grandma must have had an oven up in her BC kitchen up there).  By this time the movie had started ("Jack Ryan, Secret Something Or The Other") and I was stuffed, so the rest of the long flight was sufficiently occupied.  And smooth.

*We landed in Dallas and got on the shuttle (hey DFW - why the long shuttle loop to nowhere land?  are you going to build another terminal?  how about cleaning up parts of the one you have) to our terminal.  And then descended into the bowels of the terminal to the AA part (I describe it this way because it felt this way - sort of dingy and dusty - sort of the way I felt).  It was 8pm-ish and our flight didn't leave until 10.  Meanwhile, MB texted saying they were on their way to Nashville, and that their pilot said storms were headed into Nashville.  They should beat them but the storms should be arriving by the time our plane arrived.  Fantastic.  I am not a flying fan, and especially not a flying-into-stormage fan.  So the next two hours I practiced my Lamaze breathing trying not to erupt into a full-blown panic.  Meanwhile, the AA dude kept announcing that the flight to Little Rock would be boarding as soon as the plane got cleared for whatever fixing needed to be done on the plane.  Because the fixers felt like everything would be okay.  All I could think was that if our plane was going to get announcements like that, I was going to search for (a) drug dealers and (b) the nearest bar.

*Our plane was clearly visible, and it looked little.  Great.  Little plane headed into big storm.  Boarding started, and again we boarded first because we are BC.  Luckily, no "fix-it" announcements were made.  This time, our flight attendant is Great Uncle Joe.  However, this time, I didn't want anything he had to offer.  Unless it was a life jacket and parachute.  We took off from Dallas, and after about 90 minutes and only a ripple here and there, landed in Nashville.  God is good, and we talked a lot during the flight - a story for another day.

*We grabbed our four checked bags and headed home after dropping off Maribeth's two bags at their house.  Eventually we got home and unloaded and into bed around 1am.  After a long travel day, it's good to be home!!  And I think Maggie and Minnie cats were glad we were home!!

*****************************************************************************

Today was a great day because:  AA lady at ticket desk; safe, smooth rides home for everyone; Steve upgrading us to BC and all its amenities; getting home and sleeping in my own bed

Sea Day!

Today was a pretty quiet day.   We are on our way back to Vancouver.  We are still seeing whales here and there.  It's getting warmer as we travel southward, but I still can't imagine real heat, like in Nashville.  I fully expect a sinus revolt once I get back home. 

Anyhow, today we did much of nothing.  We had to pack up our stuff (thank goodness for extra bags).  I saw the movie "Maleficent" which I liked, but will not take Lindley to anytime soon (it's sort of dark and scary - not Lindley's kind of movie).  I also saw it in 3D and the glasses (on top of my other glasses) get a little annoying after awhile.  Angelina is amazing as Maleficent, so it was a good 90 minutes.

The most interesting thing was when we passed a cruise ship headed North.  Sure, I've passed other cruise ships on other cruises, but usually they are way far off in the distance.  This was pretty cool to pass one this close.

Steve and I had dinner in Palo's tonight, then finished packing.  Everley spent her last night in her bed with the princess sheets.  It's been a great cruise!!

******************************************************************************

Today was a great day because:  getting everything packed up; seeing the other cruise ship; watching "Maleficent", dinner at Palo and Toni our server